DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?

ok maybe! i do care about my health, i do care about my not so pretty face and i do care about my family.







this is the 3rd attempt of me writing a post without cancelling in the middle of .............. oh crap, i just need a peace shit of mind!

Saturday

• i'm in the office. i know! i know! some might think what's a big deal about it. but not me please. Saturday is a day where people sit a home and spend quality time with the loved ones bukan duduk di office. i know, i've mentioned about "productivity" some time ago but bila dah spent bermati-matian MEMBUAT KERJA for 5 days apa lagi yang mahu dilakukan di pejabat pada hari sabtu. dah lah hari-hari lain pun balik dah hari gelap. Kerja adalah kerja tetapi bukan sesuatu yang menyeksakan. maybe i just need to get use to the fact that saturday is also a working day.
• rumah tengah renovation. massive big one! and remember i wrote about getting my own room. so, here's about it. the house is in massive huge renovation and we are living under it. under the gallion dust.
• but in some ways, i'm glad i'm actually in the office rather then sitting under a renovated rooftop.
• i'm about to leave. sayonara!

Belated Birthday Wishes

July is coming to its end. and i think it is still not too late for me to do some listing of my birthday wishes (which clearly enough, i received none this year besides than receiving a birthday card from parents, anuar zain's ticket from kakak and also a suprise birthday cake from my boyfriend (mind me, he's not a romantic person. and that explain the joyous feeling i had for receiving the birthday cake from him).

so here goes the list:-

• another pair of heels. (eh, sangat tidak berpatutan but who cares?)
• Nikon D300.
• MAC Pro.
• Abang handsome the bus driver for the remaining days before July ends. don't get me wrong, i'm the most loyal person you've ever met but Abang Handsome, he's just my morning breakfast. nothing more than that! don't worry Mr. Boyfriend, no one can replace you tehee =) romantik tak?!
• i just want to know that i will not end up my life being a spinster and indulging myself in the working life for the rest of my life. itu sahaja boleh tak? dan saya berjanji saya tidak akan lagi meminta-minta selepas ini. saya janji!
• I WANT TO GO TO ITALY and ROME!!

i guess, thats all about it. thats all that i could think of right now. telah diganggu oleh cerita-cerita emak yang menceritakan sejarah zaman muda-mudinya dicampur dengan bunyi TV cerita When Harry Meets Sally (and i just don't understand why kakak loves to watch this movie) with the condition of the house that is full with dust.

i'm sleepy. good night peeps!

And So They Say

swearing can ease the pain and lead to a better life and helps for a recovering mind.

and i say,

Fuck It!!

period.

confession

"kamu, tak tahu rasanya hatiku saat berhadapan kamu"

Lady Boss

in a near future (in 10 years time probably), i wish i could be a leader. nothing related in ruling a country but to be a leader whereby there's someone else working for me. under my supervision. you know, that sort of thing. and i believe you people are dreaming to be one as well right? (jangan tipu, tipu dosa!).

but the problem is, the way i see it, whenever a woman reaches a certain point of age, they start becoming a monster. ok, i think it's not appropriate calling them a monster. maybe 40% less monsterious with an additional of fierce looking face, high-pitch voice, countless of mood swings, unstable hormones circulation and what nots. agree?!

the one that i have to report to is the one that i mentioned above. and trust me, it is not easy dealing with her. i have to act cool whenever its possible. i have to be very informative whenever she starts asking questions; work related and also the ones that aren't in my work scope. i have to bare everything eventhough i don't have the access to her computer and this is very difficult whenever she's not in the office. and also i have to speak her languages. means, she won't tell me everything but she expect me to know what to do with almost everything.

i love my job. i love the company that i'm working with. i love the environment and i love the people around me. i mean, this is what i've been aiming for, for the past years. this is my dream job.

but the Lady Boss; she is not easy to handle.

i hope i won't be like her when i'm old. oh, my boss is an old lady who works her entire life. i was told that she's not married and live with her nieces and nephews.

well, that summorized up the whole behavior right?!

or is it possible for me to be just like her? tolonglah, i don't want to lead a miserable life. and i don't want to indulge myself entirely working for the rest of my life.

oh, she's here. i need to get back to work.

productive, efficient, semualah.

Weekend

• rejuvenating. i spent my weekend having endless time on bed just to get a good nice sleep. i need to get all the energy for the upcoming week.
• last week was terrible. terrible in any ways that possible. work, life, relationship and money to add it up. i need to learn to organize my daily routine and also financially organized please. i just can't stop spending. i need to ban myself from browsing the online shops.
• and i need to learn to stop pitching the ZITS on my face.
• i seriously need to undergo an intensive english class. my english is terrible. VERY!
• August is something that i'm looking forward to. Penang here i come. come to think of it, Penang was never my favourite place (after spending 6 years "living" there) but i am now missing it badly. the food, the beaches, the night life, the cheapy dvds etc. and i miss waking up in the morning just to see the sun is rising right from my room's window.
• i think i've lost interest in writing. or is it the working life that made me so? i used to write all the time in my so-called-diary-book. but the pages have been emptied for a while now.
• i'm getting my own room soon. super excited!
• Ashlyn Kutcher sebenarnya boleh menjadi seorang jejaka yang kacak walaupun dia hanya melakonkan watak selain daripada watak lelaki bodoh! *totally non-related*
• note-to-self: everytime the relationship is not in a good condition or in a very-very tensed situation, try watching romantic-comedy movies. it helps! trust me. it does. but remember, try avoiding super-sweet-extra-romantic-boleh-mati movies. it won't help! it makes you to fall in love for the first time again and starts reminiscing the good memeories you to had. this is not an advice notice. it is something that helps me for the past few days. it's for sharing purposes, thats all!
• i'm officially stuck with facebook all over again.
• i'm in the midst of improving the sense of quality i have inside me. and it is not easy. there's always a voice telling me to do the opposite thing/choosing the opposite side.
• my friends are getting married. one by one. is 24 the age of settling down, get hitched and have babies?! i need an answer.
• ok babies, its time to go to bed now. good night!

Something Worth Telling

i had to attend an event hosted by Astro at Tun Rahar building (or something like that) later this afternoon. on the way back from the event, i walked along Jalan Raja Chulan in order to go to Bukit Bintang Monorail station. i was walking through the old MISC building and i felt so sad while walking by the road side. it wasn't the building or for the fact that it was my old school area, but i miss being with the person that i spent most of my time there; at that area.

she was a girl that i knew way back since primary 4 (i think!). we were classmates. i don't think she likes me then. budak banyak mulut siapa suka. plus i was the class monitor gila bossylah sikit kot! we were still friends but so-so je. we became closer as we started becoming busmates. bus uncle champion pisang 2 batang. and we were busmates since then sampailah junior high. dahlah satu class, naik bus sama-sama pulak tu memang gila bosan! but somehow or rather, we became closer (i think!). i think we rock'd our primary years so bad. we were performing on stage at any possible events. nyanyi-nyanyi, paling penting menari lagu backstreets boys atas stage.

we had our own lives during junior high. but we remain as friends as we were stucked with each other riding the same school bus. and by the time we reach our senior year, we were back to being classmates. honestly speaking, it was the best 2 years ever. i still remember how hard she studied for Prinsip Akaun. she hated it so much and i remember doing exercises with her just for the sake of giving her the support that she needed.

and looking back to all of the hardworks, it's all worth doing. i was the one studying so hard to become an accountant and she, constantly saying that accounting was not her cup of coffee. but today, she is one of the Bank Negara's Accountant.

i am nothing but proud of you.

though we had our differences. we fought every now and then. we had our disagreement. hating each other sometimes. but you were the one that i most trusted. you were even among the first to know that i've met someone special. and i would never want to loose a friend like you. more to not want to loose you.

so dear Umi Kalthom Abu Musa. thank you for being my friend. thank you for being A FRIEND. i love you so much and my prayers will always be with you.


i know! i know! your birthday is not till next month but i just need to write about you today. you will always be Umi The Teddy Bear for me =)

Perkara buang masa

• A kid pee-ed in the bus yesterday and i was sitting on the second row from his. i was sleeping but was awaken by the sound of an angry aunty sitting behind me scolding the little kid. he was rough. i mean the kid.
• i saw a very tall (i mean a very very very tall) girl yesterday while waiting for the bus. she wore a pair of nice heels and walking front and back to look for her bus (showing off her tallness and glamourous style of her dress). *non-related*
• Monday was a bad day and it became better on Tuesday. and now, i'm enjoying my Wednesday.
• i'm stuck with Barn Buddy and it is not good.
• Question 1: why is it hard for people to keep to their promises?
• Question 2: why does some people loves to brag about things that they don't actually do? c'mon, wake up! you're not living with Alice in her wonderland.
• after working for nearly 2 months, i realized how lucky i was when i was still a student. baru masuk belajar dah boleh fikir pasal cuti. macam mana nak productive. haha!
• i just don't understand the privileges given to the gourment officers. house/car loans, 5 working days and i believe they even receive 30 days of annual leave and now they are asking for bonuses. productivity weyh! productivity.
• i think i'm having the heart-ache syndrome. i need medicines that contain a high volume of MGs.
• oh!oh! breaking news. i'm having my convocations next month on the 16th. yay!
• Question 3: how can you call it your baby when all that you've been getting came from your parents pocket money?
• i just don't have any ideas left on what to right.

sekian sahaja buat masa sekarang.

Nostalgic

"eventhough you are no longer to be seen, but you will always be in my heart forever."

i don't have your pictures. not even a single one. i've never thought that days like this will happened. i've never thought that you would ever leave. but you left anyway. and the saddest part was, i wasn't even there when they took you away. i wasn't given the chance to say goodbye to you. i wasn't even told that you were going away days before.

the decision made my Bapak for giving you away was not to my liking. but i don't have the right to speak. i wasn't given the opportunity to defend you at the first place. and like i said, i wasn't told about you will be given away. and i'm sorry for that.

words can't express my saddest. words can't describe the feelings i have seeing you no longer parked around the house area. i'm just sad! sad that you are no longer with the family.

i hope you will be happy. i will always pray for your happiness. i hope you will be taken care off, just like how we took care of you. i hope you will serve them as good as the days you have served us.

i won't forget you. i will never forget you for you have been the bestest friend i have ever had. you have been staying with me for the longest time ever. you have been helping me through everything.

i need to stop now. i need to stop writing about you as tears have been falling from my eyes now. i need to let you go somehow. i need to!

you will always be missed Ferrari Meron! will always be.

Malu bertanya sesat jalan

and as it says, malu bertanya memang akan sesat jalan.

there is nothing wrong in asking questions. there is nothing wrong in seeking for new informations. there is nothing wrong with acting stupid just for the sake of learning new things. and as it says, we are not born to be an automatic dictionary or walking encyclopedia. and as believes, everyday is a learning process. and as Ajlaa Azam says, kalau hebat sangat, boleh pergi matilah!

bak kata setiap orang, malu bertanya sesat jalan.

there is nothing wrong with sharing informations with other people. there is nothing wrong with teaching other people about new things. there is nothing wrong with sharing new things everyday. isn't it lovely if one could share some new infos with another person? secara tidak langsung, kita dapat membijakkan lagi orang-orang yang lain. tidaklah KEDEKUT ilmu.

and like i said, we are not born to have everything installed in our brains. kalau siapa-siapa rasa dia punya otak diisi dengan segala jenis ilmu dari A-Z, sila perkenalkan diri anda kepada saya. berkenan juga hendak berkenalan. manalah tahu, kot-kot boleh bertukar otak bersama-sama. alangkah indah rasanya.

but then again, not all people are willingly to share their knowledges with others. rugi, beribu-ribu lemon punya rugi!

well, i always believe; the more you give, the more you get. and that applies to everything that you do. the more you spread your knowledges to people, the more informations you'll be getting in your life. afterall, you are not the only breathing human living in this world. kalau rasa-rasa hidup sorang-sorang, alangkah sempurnanya jika anda dapat membina planet dan tinggal di planet itu sendirian.

siapa yang nak sesat?!

24

at the same time last year, i was busy getting myself packed for college or busy doing classes registration. i didn't celebrate much on that day; more oftenly i've forgotten the day itself. and the worse part out of it, my uncle passed away on the very same day. well, i guess there's always a bigger thing that we have to deal with despite of remembering the day that we turn a year older.

and today, today i am a year older. no longer doing classes registration or whining about getting away from home (college that is).

but i'm thankful for everything that i have. being able to write, to see, to listen and to cherish everything that i own. i'm blessed with the people i have around me; family and friends.

thank you for giving me the chance to live even just for another year. alhamdulillah, syukur!






p/s: when i was a little girl, 24 means getting a law degree and married to a very successful man (a pilot perhaps). i'm 24 today and i am not a lawyer nor marrying a pilot. but i'm still a happy kid!

kerana saya seorang caffeine-addict

Long-term caffeine consumption is bad!
FALSE.
According to research psychologists at the US Army Research Institute of Environmental Medicine, as long as you don't have high blood pressure, heart arrhythmia or suffer from anxiety disorders, consuming caffeinated beverages over the years should not pose health problems.

Caffeine makes me sharper.
TRUE.
In your brain, caffeine interrupts adenosine (the chemical that signals sleeps) and stimulate pleasure centres. Hence, it has the ability to make you feel both alert and relaxed all at once.

Caffeine ups my game.
TRUE.
Caffeine stimulates you to exercise 10 to 15 percent longer because it keeps you from getting tired quickly.

If I have coffee after dinner, I'd be sleepless!
FALSE.
A small cup of coffee afther dinner is OK for most people, but if you have trouble falling into slumber even hours later, have tea instead - a cup contains only about 35mg of caffeine. High caffeine-content drinks like energy booster, on the other hand, can keep you up for hours, so drink six hours before bedtime.



- CLEO, Jun 2009.

jadi, tidak salah untuk memiliki segelas lagi untuk hari ini =)

Friday.

as usual, jumaat adalah merupakan rutin mingguan untuk pergi ke Masjid Jamek untuk pergi mengurangkan kondisi wang di dalam bank. and on my way back to the office, while waiting for the train, i was amazed to see what i saw. i know, jumaat merupakan fardhu ain bagi semua lelaki bagi mengerjakan solat jumaat tetapi walaupun berada di tengah-tengah bandaraya yang terlalu sesak, sibuk, padat, busuk dah sebagainya. Masjid Jamek masih lagi dipenuhi dan terisi. Alhamdulillah. i know it means nothing to some people, but to me it meant alot. really i'm amazed!

on the other hand, i was shocked to hear what my mother just told me. i'm not going to tell all the details, just read today's Sunday Star and judge yourself. Nauzubillah.

i don't know what went wrong with our government. the house was named after them, built using their funds and was approved by them and this is how it turns out to be. very disappointing. duit ada buat jambatan emas, kasi orang-orang suruh undi mereka, beli Evo 8 untuk "kejar pencuri" (bak kata En. Izwan), kasi sepah sana sini.

such a disappointment.

Lelaki Ini

telah dengan jayanya membuat sebuah persembahan yang amat memukau hati saya. i give you 20/5 =)

dan kini saya sedang terlalu kenyang memakan durian berulas-ulas.

now back to baking.

Semua Untukmu

• kerana hari-hari muka asyik makan asap, jerawat telah pon dengan jayanya tumbuh di muka. dan oleh kerana terlalu excited melihat jerawat, operasi memecahkannya telah dilakukan juga dengan jayanya. maka hari ini, ia kembang!
• Anuar Zain memang BEST!
• thank you for being the nicest for sending me home yesterday!
• kenapa Anuar Zain handsome sangat semalam?!
• rasa-rasanya dalam 2-3 hari yang akan datang, saya bakal memakan pasir dan rumput sebagai makanan ruji kerana kondisi wang yang sudah terlalu berkurangan di dalam bank. i wonder where have all the money gone to?! oh! online shopping.
• I went back with a smile on my face yesterday walaupun masih berpakaian pejabat, membawa kereta mengikut peraturan sesuka hati kerana mengilai Anuar Zain.
• my sister is now officially an H1N1 freak.
• emak saya juga turut berjoget-joget bersama-sama saya di kerusi semalam sambil dihidangkan dengan alunan enak suara Anuar Zain.
• and i am going to spend another amount of money today sebagai proses merealisasikan fakta memakan rumput dan pasir seperti yang disebut sebelum ini.
• and i am still dreaming of his wonderful voice and superbly excellent performances. ANUAR ZAIN!!!!!!
• i had the most wonderful gift ever from my sister. mengikut sejarah penglibatannya di dalam memberikan hadiah kepada saya (kerana dia selama ini tidak pernah ingat akan tarikh hari jadi saya), tahun 2009 adalah yang paling AWESOME!
• kerana saya masih lagi meminati Anuar Zain walaupun dia mempunyai perwatakan yang kurang disenangi.

nantikan visualnya malam ini. sekian terima kasih!

District Orders

i was told that a person from Urbanscape was diagnosed positive for H1N1 and i was there practically the whole day walking everywhere, breething their circulated air, touching any possible person that passed me by, laughing with friends, walking everywhere again, breething their circulated air again and was initially showered by the smokes coming from every possible smokers. i'm no kidding. my clothes, scarf smelled like shit (for the mixture of all types of cigarettes).

and a friend of a friend of mine (read: go figure) is now quarantined.

is being too sleepy one of the symptoms? i don't know. please somebody tell me. i'm serious weyh! i'm no kidding!

if i were infected, then, the whole family is infected too. then, there goes my colleagues. then, my sister's coz we share a same bed. if my sister was infected, i just couldn't imagine what will happen. knowing my sister and the place she goes everyday (read: work) and my mother's too and my father's. satu taman bole kena ni!

jadi kesimpulannya, makanlah vitamin banyak-banyak! sekian terima kasih.

Just Because

• stomach is not doing so good. it must be the nasi lemak!
• i think, i want to commit myself in a real relationship.
• the hormone is going hire wire.
• i feel like enrolling myself in a vocal class. rockstar remember?!
• August is what i'm looking forward too.
• Aidilfitri is next.
• i still couldn't believe that we are in our 4th year.
• i've been blessed! alhamdulillah.
• it's JULY. 8 days before reclaiming =)

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