If I Could, I Would

If I have all the powers in the world, I would definitely do the right thing for all my loved ones, for every person that means a lot to me; that placed specially in my heart. I will give nothing but a healthy and a meaningful life.

If I have the heart as holly as an angel, I would definitely say all the beautiful words to the ones that I love. Pour them with beautiful gifts, shower them with happiness and will never break those meaningful hearts.

If I could swallow every darkest fears, I would. So none of my meaningful souls trapped in their hardest shadows.

It's not easy pleasing everyone. It's not easy making every heart to smile. It's not easy to treat everyone well; equally. Coz I'm only human and I make mistakes. I'm not perfect. Not even close. I don't have all the powers in the world. My heart is not as holly as an angel and I couldn't swallow every fears. The only thing that I could do is to try. And god, I've tried my very best.

I cried not to seek for your sympathy. I cried because it's the best thing that could heal me. I scream not because I'm angry; I couldn't hold it anymore. I shouted; I cursed because I'm out of words. If I could turn everything around. I would. Trust me; I would.

Coz I'm only human!





I wish I have my own computer right now =(

Susah.

Tidak ada sesiapa dalam dunia yang mahukan orang-orang sekelilingnya hidup susah. Tetapi kenapa kita tak habis-habis berusaha untuk susahkan hidup kita sendiri?

Is it really hard for you to include me in too?

Food Fiesta!

SpencerAzizul nailed few unexpected campaigns/corporate communication products for the past couple of months. And as a matter of appreciating the hardwork, the company had treated all of us with great food at Renaissance Hotel last Thursday.

Aszam with the girls

Mili and Aunty May

Presenting, Mr Azizul from spencerAZIZUL.

Cik Tam yang bertelinga Putih

My pc has officially going down on me. She collapsed on me couple of weeks ago. Sent her for check-up and yeah, she is now breathing lifelessly. And the worst part was, she never really said goodbye to me. Not even showing any sight of symptom that needs for inspections.

5 years of servicing and you never fail me. Not even once!

I'm out of words. I don't know how to express my sadness. You left without saying goodbye. You left without any warnings. You just leave!

I need to get you a replacement. I need to get a new YOU. You left, Cik Tam; and you shall be missed; dearly.



I need to get a new set of lappy but I'm actually out of mooo-neeyyy!


Yang benar,
saya yang sangat sungguh sedih.

Terminology

• They say that if you drink coffee it will makes you all fresh and awake. I drank 4 cups of coffee (a black one) and feel sleepy right away.
• If your GM is playing games on facebook during office hour, it's proven that playing games in the office is permitted. Especially during office hour.
• A short roadtrip to Penang in December is approved (by mommy and daddy actually). I hope it happens!
• All gears are set and I'm ready to head the new road. Which is fixing the broken mind. We admitted our faults and promise to fix it together. I have no idea how far we can go but fixing it is what we opted for.
• But please, don't ask me how I'm doing right now. I still have no answer for it.
• Working in an advertising agency is not that bad after all.
• My stomach is still cramp from yesterday's food fiesta!
• I have zero $$$ left in my wallet till the next salary comes in.
• I need a new pair of flats and jeans.

I'm out of idea. They were here awhile ago but disappeared right away. I have so many things to write about but they were gone while I'm typing them down.

Case closed. I want to go home.

And Today Is..........

"While relying on your instincts is easy when the situation involved is of purely personal nature, those that have to do with joint decisions can be very tricky indeed. If others can't understand why you feel as you do, waste no time trying to explain. Simply tell them they'll have to turst you" - Cancer, The Sun

So dear friends (you know who you are),

I know I've worried some of you. I've caused so much of your attention. Well, I'm not intended to do so. I've taken so much of your time. I appreciated every second of it. There is no way for me to express my gratitude. I couldn't thank you enough. But at this point of time, I need to sort things on my own. I need to get everything in pieces again. I need to fix what have been broken. I need to make sure that everything is back to its normal. And most importantly, I need to get THAT piece of heart back again.

I'll be ok! I will be fine. Just bare with me will you?

much love,

me!

You Know What Would Be Nice?

A Simple Thank You Will Do!

kthx.

At Time Like This

At time like this, I wish I know what to do, where to start, how to do it, what to feel and how to live with it. Coz, I don't know where I have to stand, what do I have to do first. Point blank!

At time like this, I wish I'm at a place where nothing in the world matters. Totally silent!

At time like this, I wish that it was just a dream. A bad dream that appeared during my sleep. Coz truthfully, I have no idea how to deal with it. I've lost in my own translation and I'm dying for an answer. I need help. But I don't know who to ask to.

I need peace. I need love. I need .........................

I need to get myself fixed. I need to get everything under control. I need to let everything out. I do not need to keep everything to myself. I do not need to think about it anymore. It already happened; and there is nothing that I can do to turn back the time. I need strength. I need courage. I need to focus again. I need to stay positive again. I need to see things on a bigger prospective. Coz I have a life to live.

But I don't know how?!

Chapter #5

If this is really a life story, this chapter would definitely called;-

A Letter of A Muthafucka.

I thought I am strong enough to face this challenge. I thought I'm fully prepared for all the consequences. I thought I'll be all geared up heading for the new road. Guess, I wasn't strong enough. In fact, I am not THAT strong to face the challenges. I wasn't prepared for the consequences; for the fact that I actually have no clue about it. I wasn't all fit for the new road. I'm still not ready to press the paddle yet!

I still have no idea where to start. I need strength. I need....................................

Coz It's All For You

I've done my part. I begged, I pled for forgiveness, I confessed for things that I've never done. And it was all for us. Yes, WAS! Everything will be in its past tense now. I've played all the cards and there's none for me to keep.

I can't take this anymore. I can't afford to play nice anymore. I can't afford to hurt myself any longer. I compromised and I played it accordingly. I put myself in the lowest just for you. I be the person whom I've never thought of becoming. I let myself loose. I negotiated for us, for you. Guess, it was never good enough. I was never good enough for you. Never have been.

You deserve someone better. You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally. You deserve someone who will sacrifice her life for you, do everything you said, plea every single of your words, put your satisfactions on the top of her priority. Be the best for you.

Coz I'm none stated on the above. I've never be the girl whom you've wished for. I was a mistake for you. I was a burden to all of your energy. I was such a nuisance.

Like I said, I've played all the cards. It's time for me to move aside; take a step backward. Coz I never really the one you would like to walk with, to spend your life with, to grow old together, to have a lifetime together. I was never the one!

I've wasted so much of your precious time and I swear to god there will be no more time wasted. I pray you all the best in life and I hope you get everything that you wish for.

Semoga kebahagiaan yang di kejar tercapai.

Never Ending

Kau hancurkan aku dengan sikapmu

Tak sadarkah kau telah menyakitiku

Lelah hati ini meyakinkanmu.......

And The Story Begins

I took Graphic Communication for degree but ended up being a Media Planner. I decided not to become a graphic designer after I've completed my internship in one of the publishing company. It doesn't seem to impress me much. I don't want to stuck doing the things that I done for the rest of my life. Or maybe because the environment was not to my liking (it must be the place that wasn't impressive enough).



But anyhow, it never really stop me from appreciating art. I still do designing but not like before. My skills are not as good as before. I've forgotten all the shortcuts to photoshop and illustrator. It took me a day or two to complete a simple task compare to just 30 minutes. My sense of creativity in designing wasn't as efficient as before and that I have to admit. I'm totally suck in it now!



I read more advertising books than art booklets. I have more Marketing Communication journals than color paletes. My excel skill is better than photoshop. I am good with numbers now than generating codes from Flash or Dreamweaver. I am using Microsoft instead of OS X. And I feel nothing but happy with everything that I'm doing now.



But yesterday was totally a different kind of story. One of the designers was on MC (he MC-ed on purpose actually) and none of the remaining designers knew how to submit the press material thru the server. Well, I blame them for not having the initiative in learning. So, I had to do them. I took the trouble to learn from the datamation people thru phone to complete the submission process from the DTP room. Pendek cerita, I was at the DTP room whole evening.



I saw designers rushing for dateline. I saw them (the designers) creating logos for clients (they were actually competing with each other). I saw them struggling for ideas. I saw them got scolded by the CD for creating irrelevent ideas. And I'm actually missing all the fun! The fun of being a designer; creating designs.


But then again, you got to do what you have to do! And I am not complaining.

Aku Terima Nikahnya....

"A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendships, all the enjoyment of sense and reason - and indeed all the sweets of life"

- Joseph Addison

Isya & Harull,

Congratulations on your wedding. May this new chapter of life brings happiness and full of love for both of you. May Allah bless dan dipanjangkan jodohnya selalu.

Amin.

Thank You For The Music

I'm nothing special, in fact I'm a bit of a bore
If I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before
But I have a talent, a wonderful thing
cause everyone listens when I start to sing
I'm so grateful and proud
All I want is to sing it out loud

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

Mother says I was a dancer before I could walk
She says I began to sing long before I could talk
And I've often wondered, how did it all start?
Who found out that nothing can capture a heart
Like a melody can? Well, whoever it was, I'm a fan

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

I've been so lucky, I am the girl with golden hair
I wanna sing it out to everybody
What a joy, what a life, what a chance!

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

-----------------

I'm having sudden break down, I don't know why. My heart was pounding hard as if there's something bad coming my way. Goosebumps! I can't even sit still.

This song was on TV and I was singing along with it. And the butterfly has flown away from my stomach literally, as the song ended.

So I say, thank you for the music............. for calming me down =)

The Power of Advertising #2

A useful reminder.





DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE.

The Power of Advertising

Life #7

Call me whatever coz I wouldn't care less.

Coz a girl can only dream. And dream is what I can do at this moment of time.

My Winamp was playing all this morning as usual but apparently the playlist was on random. Nak dijadikan cerita, from morning till late afternoon, all that I'm hearing were love-related songs including songs that are on my "potential wedding songs" list.

And yes, like I said earlier, a girl can only dream.

If you look closely (or noticed by now), there's a long list of things that I want to achieve/do before I get old and grey on the right side of this blog. Getting married is one of them. Building up my own family is next. Pendek cerita, yes! I do want to get married. I do want to have my own family, raising my own child, send them to school like my parents did, watch them grow and to also have grandchildren whom I can spoild and love.

But the time has not arrived yet! Not now I guess. Not in a near future juga kot!

But I will never stop myself from dreaming and hoping for that day to come. I may sound so desperate to you but like I said, a girl can only dream. And this is my dream for now. Not to want to have a big house, not even a car but to get married. Blame the love-related songs, I'm down with desperation.

Oh well! kalau jodoh tak kemana. Jadi Ajlaa sila jangan berangan lagi. Sekian terima kasih.

Good Morning Lovers

My heart will be bouncing double from its usual every morning when I'm about to check my work mail. You know, the kind of feeling you have when you feel like there's something big coming your way. In the most unsoothing way of course. And today, I received this from my Creative Director.

Thought of the day:-
HUMAN BODY: Some interesting facts about ourselves

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women will be finished reading this by now.
Men are still busy checking their thumbs.
An idle brain is the devil's workshop



And I can't just stop laughing.
Have a pleasant day lovers =)

Coz You Never Really Go Away

An old friend buzz-ed me on facebook while I was in a hurry to catch dateline. I was extremely occupied with work and decided to ignore her. But I didn't anyway. I replied and we chatted for about 15 minutes or so. It was nearly lunch hour and I had to make a move. I was catching dateline remember?! I left her with no reply; unnoticed.

I hope she doesn't feel offended. I was in a rush. I hope she understands.

She wasn't one of my clicks. We didn't hang out together. She wasn't my lepak friends. But someways or another, we were close in our own ways. She always comes to me whenever she feels like talking. I didn't know why, coz truth be told, we were not in the same league. She has her own circle of friends and I had mine. The only thing that we have in common was actually nothing! But I always happy to have her company.

Its been ages since I last saw her. The last time that we did was probably the last day of SPM. We were saying goodbye literally but we never really stop communicating. But somehow or another we stopped between the line.

I guess, we have our own life to catch up too.

Within that 15 minutes of conversation, we bond with each other back again. Though, I might be missing few words but I'm glad we did chatted. It feels good to hear that familiar voice (literally!) after so long. It feels so good to have been communicating with you again.

And I have to be honest, I miss you lah!

I'm happy (oh! super happy kot!) to see where you are standing now. Looking back to where you were, you never really thought of reaching this far. But you did. Successfully! Despite of all the talks and the bad judgment given to you, I guess you've proven them wrong. I'm proud of you. I really am.

I hope we can meet someday coz I miss you dearly. My prayers will always be with you.