Auld Lang Syne

It's the day that we have been waiting for. For some, it might be the saddest day as 2009 is now closing its door. But to some, it might be the greatest day for welcoming 2010.

2009 has been a crucial year for me. There has been too many bad things instead of the goods happened in 2009. Eventhough I have achieved most of the things I wanted to achieve in 2009, there were things that I wished I had done otherwise. As far as I'm concerned, 2009 is not the year for me.

So yeah, I am happy that 2009 is now waving its hand for goodbyes.

Despite from getting my dream job, happily graduated, starting up my own business (though its becoming slow now), I have failed myself in becoming a good person, a good friend, a good daughter and be a bad girlfriend and a stuck up sister. I, personally have put all my loved ones down and let myself loose. I let my ego control myself at some point. I let my mind do the talking. I've become selfish with myself. I made a wrong turning point and stuck in the middle.

I have failed myself personally.

So 2010 is a starting point for me. I have to start all over again; as a person that is. There's alot to be changed. There's a lot to be improved. 2010 will be the year for me to change myself. For the better.

I hope that 2010 is a year for us that will be filled with love and care. May this new year bring us all happiness and blessed no matter what religion you are, what culture you are practising, and life that you believing. Lets open up our books of life with a new chapter with a clean heart and soul.

Happy new year lovers!


xoxo,
Ajlaa Azam

Confession #2

As much as I thought that my life is going down the drain, being very hopeless with everything, screwed and motionless;

today was indeed the happiest day of all time.

Alhamdulillah.





*saya sangat gembira yang tidak terkata*

#37

Let the pictures do the talking.

We arrived 4 hours later. Driving on a very busy road heading up north doesn't seem to be tiring with crazy girlfriends on board.

After quick freshing up, we drove off to Jalan Air Itam for lunch. We had late lunch since we wanted to have better food instead of the RnR. So celup-celup was where we headed.

We had to witness it first hand. Hard Rock hotel was where we went next. It would be such a waste to no to go there. We fell in love right away though the hotel were crowded. Not with guests but visitors mostly. Next year target: vacation at Hard Rock hotel.

On the second day, we were in Bertam witnessing Nuown's wedding. Congrats babe! You were very pretty that day. May Allah bless you with all the love.

Since none of us had ever experiencing walking through paddy field, we made an impromptu trip up Kedah. Lucky for us, Mr. Boyfie was at his hometown. We took the opportunity since we were already half way there to feel the excitement. It was hell of a good feeling. It feels as if heaven is on earth.

Thank you for driving us around and being our unofficial photographer. Love you big time.

Alang-alang di Alor Star, he drove us around the city. It was great being in places out from the KL chaos for a change.

On the very last day, we had the ever famous original cendol made in Penang. It was my first time too since 6 years. Heaven!

We took the ferry back to minland. And that summorized up our trip to Penang.

So long Penang. Till we meet again next time.

I had a blast trip with the girls. It wasn't a planned trip but we managed to get everything in order. Despite of all the tiredness, I'm glad that we all had fun! We miss you already, Penang. I miss you alot. It's been a very memorable place for me. Not just because of the trip but I guess Penang really has its place in my heart. I shall be there again someday. And for what its worth, I will never forget you.

Merry Christmas and a happy new year. It IS the time for us to forgive and forget. And within this state of mind, I AM forgiving and trying to forget.

This is especially for you

Dear you,

I have no intention in pulling you down. I was suprised by my actions too. But like you said, everything can happen when you are in love. I wasn't suprised with what had happened. I expected it to happen anyway but I didn't expect it to be this bad. I had my share. And god knows how bad I was at that time. I don't expect you to understand but if you were in my shoes, you would know.

I don't hate nor blame you for what had happened. I'm glad that it actually happened. I learned a lot with this. I learned how to understand more. I learned how to be strong and I learned to not to give up on things that I always believe in. Things might not be the same now. And I'm sorry if it effected you bad. It effected me at some point.

You came at the right time. You came to help but I guess you crossed overboard. I was not angry. Disappointed maybe. Because we are only human and we are not born to be perfect.

Everything happen for a reason and I believe that it is meant for a good one. I'm still here stuck with all of this but I'm willing to forgive and start all over again. I don't hate you. I like you even when we first met but I didn't expect things to be like this. No one expect it to be like this.

I pray you all the best in life. I pray that someday you will find someone just like how I found mine. I know that there is someone out there waiting for and love you unconditionally. Never stop believing. Never stop hoping. It is just a matter of time. You'll find your way. I will always pray for the best in you.

Thank you for your help. Thank you for what you have done. You teach me how to understand more. You teach me to appreciate more.

I know it is hard for you. It is hard for me too but I'm willing to let everything go. I hope you are doing fine. I hope you will meet someone new. Someone more meaningful to you.

Thanks for everything. I wish you all the best in life and Happy New Year!


p/s: I heard you are graduating. Congrats for that!



sincerely,
me.

Confession

Kadang-kadang, apa yang kata selalu inginkan tidak semestinya kita akan dapat (selalunya ia bukan kadang-kadang)
Kadang-kadang, kita akan merasakan bahawa hidup tidaklah seindah yang diharapkan.
Kadang-kadang, kita akan bertindak diluar tindakan norma untuk mencapai apa yang diinginkan.
Kadang-kadang, kita terpaksa melulakan perasaan orang lain demi kebahagian sendiri.
Kadang-kadang, kita akan merasakan bahawa kita berada di satu kawasan kosong yang hanya ada kita sahaja didalamnya walaupun pada ketika itu berjuta-juta orang mengelilingi kita.
Kadang-kadang, kita hanya memerlukan diri kita sahaja dan tidak orang lain.
Kadang-kadang, apa yang ada di dalam hati itu lebih berkuasa daripada apa yang berada di dalam minda.
Kadang-kadang, kita hanya mahu merasakan kebebasan. Itu sahaja.

I wish I can be 16 again.

My life was so much fun back then. Happier and full of laughter. I don't remember hating anyone (or myself for any of that matter) during that time. I was very happy even when I scored 35% for add maths. I don't remember screaming to myself when pimples started to grow on my face for the first time. I'm not a girl who socialized that much. I'm not like most of the girls from my school. I went for tuitions on weekends, attending extra classes after school hour, spending more time in school, I don't indulged myself with cigarettes like most of the girls do, I don't have bf(s); St. John & VI boys were within the tips of my finger but I found out that they were all losers. But to top of that, I'm still out having fun with the girls, occassionally (we were still schooling, mommy wasn't being cool at that time). I had fun when I was 16.

It's all different now.

I thought growing up could me more fun. No more curfew. No more feeling guilty for spending mommy's money. No more school uniforms. No more attending classes. No more exams. No more rules and regulations and all the "no mores". It's all about fun, fun, fun.

But, it wasn't as expected.

The older you get, the greater responsibilites will be on your shoulder, decisions to make, hearts to be taken care of and whatnots. You have to think rationally not emotionally. You have to understand your priorities instead of your wants and needs. You have to learn to keep things to yourselves instead of shouting it out. You have learn how to live your life without messing up with others.

But we tend to forget about one thing. That we are human and human make mistakes. Coz we are not born to be perfect and we oftenly take things for granted. We stopped ourselves from learning and make things on our own. We live our life the way we want it to be. We tend to be selfish with others. We oftenly forget the people that means alot to us. We thought that we are being experimental with our lives; in the name of experiencing. But in the end, we lost!

Growing up involves all the shits that the world can offer. Right now, shits are what I'm eating and I'm not sure how long I can stand. I hope I can stand as long as I can coz right now, strength is all that I need.

Demi masa

just a little bit of your time will do.

I guess I have to make an appointment first before meeting up with you tuh pon belum tentu
dapat. *sigh*

Gua update guna iPhone weyh!!

Testing, testing 123

So, this is how posting with an iPhone feels like. Takde se-best mana seperti yang digembar-gemburkan.

Anyways, as I mentioned yesterday, I am facing another round of hell at work. It's the third time in 6 months. I'm starting to question myself, do I really fit with this kind of job? Am I really into it? How, how can I change and make everything back to normal? I start to feel uncomfortable going to the office. I feel as if I've put the person who trusted me the most to the lowest. I've disappointed him again this time. Bos, I'm so so sorry. I really do!

I went straight to bed yesterday after reaching home from work. I couldn't handled the pressure. Mr. boyfriend wasn't helping either. The best way for me to forget about it is by sleeping. So, I slept from 8pm straight to 10am the next morning. I screwed up. This time I don't think I can forgive myself. I don't know how?!

This is the time where I desperately want to get married. At least I know there's a husband waiting for me at home to give me comfort and love. Sorry mommy and daddy, no point for you this time. Your wisdom words just make me feel as bad.

Emak, saya mahu kahwin boleh?

Friday afternoon.

And they say "there is nothing to tell when life is good but there's a hell lot to complain when everything is bad". I second that!

It's been awhile since I last posted anything. I guess my life has been in a good shape lately I have nothing to shout about. Been busy with work and all but hey, I'm not complaining. This is what I've been dreaming on ever since FOREVER. I have to bare with it either way; the good and the bad. So far, I'm enjoying my journey though it sucks big time. But I'm learning. Learning process requires all these shits. So, be it; the shits! I'm all here waiting for you.

Cut the shit thing let's talk crap.

I was on a seminar held in Cyberjaya hosted by one of the responsible commission talking about going creative with media ads. Dad sent me over and waited for nearly 5 hours before sending me back to the office. We are talking Cyberjaya here ladies and gentlemen and since I was there alone to represent my company, dad has been so generous to accompany though he had to wait for the longest hours. You are the bomb lah bapak. Don't worry, saya sudah claimed expenses.

Anyways, talking about the seminar itself, I would say that they had handled it badly. The event started an hour late dued to waiting for the arrival of the chairman. The speakers, well, some were good and some were.........not prepared. Tapi yang paling tiptop adalah hidangan makanan yang tidak putus-putus. This is why I hate dealing with government officers. Seriously!

Speaking of which, did you know that Putrajaya is on hols today for celebrating Sultan Selangor's birthday? So much of claiming themselves as WILAYAH PERSEKUTUAN.

Saya rasa saya bakal ditimpa bencana. *grrr*


/edit (5:30 PM)
Bencana sudah diketahui. I feel like quiting. It's the third time now. I don't think they're going to like me. EVER! Shit la weyh.

The powere of advertising #3

Both of these commercials changed the world of advertising into wonders. First was the one by Apple Macintosh in introducing Macintosh to consumer. It was aired once in a superbowl with the cost of USD 2M a spot and won numerous awards for being the most efficiency. It was aired once throughout the entire world of advertising and people still remember the impact that the commercial gives even till today.

And the one below represent BATA for being the most beneficial product during that year. I wonder what happen to BATA now. They used to be one of the most powerful brand in the world but now they are as if gone from the market.

Both of the commercials were produced during the 80's. See how creative 80's people can be. I guess the Hippies era really produced good and creative people. Despite from being stone and high with whatevernots, those drugs really infected them in the good ways I suppose.







p/s: I don't really get the Macintosh ad by the way. But they changed to world of 1984. BATA was way much better.

500 Days of Summer

I spent my not so quality time yesterday at home with watching all sorts of movies that I can get. From Brothers & Sisters Season 4 Episode 9 to Ugly Betty Season 4 Episode 7 to Desperate Housewives Season 6 Episode 9 and finally 500 Days of Summer. Wah! detail gila. Oh, sebenarnya nak bagitau yang series-series tu semua dah ada season baru, so apa lagi pergilah download.

So anyway, back to the main topic. Friends have been persuasing me to watch the movie since I-don't-know-when. With the uhhh and ahh that they have been potraiting, I say why not! Since I was on MC yesterday and all that I've been doing was...nothing, I started googling the title and voila, 2 hours later, the movie is ready to be watched.

I didn't like the movie so much. I don't think I like it at all. I don't see where's the uhhh and ahh coming. I don't get it. I think it's criminal. I mean, a girl like that, how could you treat such a lovely boy as devil as that. Poor Tom Hanson. If I were Summer, hell yeah, I'll keep you Mr. Hanson. First, you admitted that you're not interested in being someone's gf. Then, with just a blink of an eye, you're someone's wife. Now, that's what I call a total crap. I'm not a fan of seeing other people playing with other people's heart. You treat them as if they mean something to you but when the actual potraits the other way round.

Maybe, maybe because I was watching it at a wrong timing. I positively think that I watched it at the very wrong time. That is why I don't like the movie. It was as if I was the one playing it. I was the character. I was the victim.

But I still keep the copy. I might watch it again coz I deadly want to get to know the uhhh and the ahhh parts. But I like the dancing part though. Very cute!

Goodbye November, Hello December

December marks the 6th month as me being an employee of SpencerAzizul (six months already?! It feels as if it was yesterday when I came in for that-always-kena-reshedule-interview. How time flies like shit!). December also marks as the month where I have to work harder in all aspects in life; career, life, relationship, business etc. I have been putting myself on its lowest I think I need to start picking up them regardless of anything. Persetankan segala-galanya. Wahhh!

December will be the month where I have to decide what's good for myself. Well, lets not talk about that yet! I haven't decided whether to persue with that temptation offer. But I will still keep an open mind. Wait till January comes.

Speaking of which, December also reminds us of the ending of the year 2009. As spooky as it sounds, 2010 is now officially knocking its door. And they are knocking harder each day. Well, I'm not going to write about how wonderful my 2009 is coz believe me, I have more worst days than the goods but that shall be written when the day comes, when 2009 is on its finale. Not now. I still have atleast 30 days to turn everything over. I hope so!

I'll be 25 in 2010. Shiyte!

Well, December is finally here. 30 more days left to spend. So spend wisely while 2009 last. But at the meantime, let me just enjoy my day off today for being sick the whole night yesterday. I think have been attacked by this so called asthma again. Boohooo!



Note-to-self: Cita-cita seumur hidup adalah untuk menjadi seorang suri-rumah-tangga seumur hidup. Sekian terima kasih.