She's 59 and she's my mother

I tried to keep it low profile. I tried to keep it as simple as possible. I tried to keep everything under control. I tried to minimize the wants and needs. I made a check list of what that need to be done first and keep everything under control. So far, I've managed to keep/get what I want and things that need to be done accordingly so there won't be any last-minute-panic-attack-syndrome during the event; except for controlling the hype of a mother.

I wasn't plan to make it an announcement (not till the actual day), but this is the only way that I could express the feelings I have by not hurting anyone. It's really getting on my nerves.

For some who knows, I'm getting engaged in two weeks time, Insyaallah. Yes, I'm finally planning in settling down. But the hype was just on the average level for me but not to the mother. I leave it to the hand of moi madre and padre for I know that the slightest thought of not having in-laws have been bugging their heads. So, just to satisfy their needs (and wishes), I let them be. But, I still monitored the preparations that they have planned. I get whatever things that possible for me by myself (the baju tunang, barang hantaran and whatnots) and leave the others to them. So far, everything has been in a good condition.

Not till today. She was being overly-excited in getting everything done. I can totally understand the hype but I think she has finally crossed the line. It's not my intention to hurt anyone's feeling. For all I know, I just want them to be happy. Though to some, this kind of ceremony is something that they want to celebrate with their love partner but to me, this whole event is to make my parents happy. I can see the joy of preparing for the event through their eyes. What more can I say, whenever they talk about the preparations, they smiles upon happiness. I have not been a good daughter for them but seeing those smiles, I think at some point, I've repaid back what they have done to me; in growing me up.

The problems occurred when she has been making this whole engagement thing as if it was hers. It's not that I'm not being grateful. I am. I appreciate everything that she does for me. The arrangement she made; just to make sure that everything goes as planned. I appreciate the sacrifices that she made in getting everything in order. The time she spent finding everything from every possible corners that she could find. Running here and there, calling whomever that she thought that could give her the best offer (yes, she is the winner of bargaining things to the cheapest). But the excitement that have caused problem to me.

I dare not to talk about it with mr.boyfie. God knows how many other things that he has on his hand. I rather spend some quality time I have with him talking with each other not about this whole getting married thingy, appreciating our moments together for the fact that we only have weekends (since we both busy with work) to actually spend it with each other.

All that I'm wishing right now is to get over with this whole preparation thingy and enjoy the actual day itself.

"Ya Allah ya tuhanku, berikan kekuatan kepada hamba mu ini. Amin"