My sister adalah Kakak ku

When I first told her that I'm getting engaged, well, I don't exactly remember telling her, it was my mother who was happily spreading the news. But I remembered showing her the ring (we have no intention of getting engaged at that time. Mr. Fiancee bought it as an attempt of proposing at first) but she didn't approved. She was being historical about how expensive a wedding can be, how massive a wedding preparation can bring and whatnot. Pendek cerita, she didn't approved of the idea of getting married/engaged where I, at that time was just showing her the ring with no intention of getting engaged within that period of time. She was being paranoid with the idea (I figured because of the ring, hah!). And that is the reason why I don't want to tell her about the news.

Kakak is known to be someone very dramatic. Comparing myself with her, she nailed it the most. Everyone (including her) figured that I'll be the first to be walking on the aisle and she even confessed that she's ready to face the day when it comes. Unfortunately for her, the day is about to shine soon. And she panicked. I can totally understand her situation. She's 28 with the hobby of log in into Microsoft Outlook most of her time, spending most hours in the 17th floor, earning a great sum of moo-lah and enjoying her life the way she wants it to be; to be facing with a situation that her adek is getting married soon. She panicked.

When I was preparing for my engagement, she made a statement which I expected her to make. She said sorry for not being able to help with the preparation because it was a new thing for her (as what she said) but the only thing that she can offer is being the helper during the day itself which she was but knocked out right after the day ended for helping so much (please see all her pictures in my FB for evidence with baldi in hand). I don't mind at all.

Today, while we were watching Kardashian on E! (with her doing her Microsoft Outlook routine) she came to me with all these wedding cards and all prepared. She visited a wedding exhibition which I clearly have no idea with her bestfriend who is about to get married about the same time as mine yesterday and did all the surveying. She shown me which and which to choose from; from a wedding planner to a make up artist to I don't know what. She shown me all. She talked and talked unstoppably while me just sat at the sofa looking at her without glazing my eyes. What happen to my sister?

I wasn't planning to start thinking about the wedding preparation not till hmm, till my senses say so. I was pretty occupied with workloads I think of starting to sort the dos and don't-s when I actually have the time. To be honest, I was planning to start doing the preparation in mid May or June. But with all the prep talk kakak was making, she has officially freaking me out!

She kept on saying that I have to start surveying now. She kept on reminding me to look for stuff now. So yeah, she freaked me out!

So I guess, I really have to start sorting things from now on. Well, for the first step, reception venue is already confirmed! And I'm pretty happy for getting the place. Alhamdulillah. Will not talk about it now but I've come to my conclusion. Due to the confirmation of venue, the family is now on the hype of preparing the wedding. As so I figured!

I just hope that everything runs smoothly as planned, Insyaallah.

Job well done. Bravo!

Taken from here

/edit

We're the ONLY local agency to be made into the list. I repeat, ONLY with capital O.

Quicky

Was supposed to have an internal, but they have not been calling. So, I treat myself with a spare time with this blog I love.

• My tooth ache. Went for checked-up yesterday (coz I can't stand the pain anymore) and the doctor told me that my tooth need a surgery. But due to the swollen I have, she advised me to do it next week instead. God, I'm not a fan of cabut-cabut gigi, but I have to do it somehow. This pain has caused me patience.
• Good articles for you to read on. Try this and this. But don't get me wrong ladies and gent, I'm not a man-hater or a mono-gender supporter. It's something for you to ponder on.
  
• Even though I kinda hate these four walls but it has been the source of place where I earned my living. It has been nothing but good to me, though not to my liking but somehow it has been the place that allowed me to stretch my wants and needs. And with that, I'm going to treat you equally fair. Although, I might be complaining about the dissatisfaction from time to time but SAA, I'm grateful for what you have done to me. The opportunities that you gave me. I would never forget you and that's for sure!
• Referring to point #3, I bought a car. Yes, with sweat and hard work, I bought my dream car two weeks ago. It was unintentionally, but somehow I managed to get it out on time. It was a hard decision. Really hard but Alhamdulillah all the hard work pays!
• Dad is supporting the Earth Hour. As a commando he said "hari sabtu nanti kita tutup lampu satu jam".
• As weird as my mother can be, she is renovating the house again. This time, it only involves the kitchen. As cute as she sounds it "nak masak pun senang hati sekarang sebab dah cantik". My house is in a mess again and very-very dusty.
• Love is definitely in the air. I've never missed mr. fiancee (wowwiee!!) as much as I miss him now. If this is the feeling of being engaged, I should have agreed to engagement a long time ago *teheee*
  
• I've been dreaming of beach holiday every now and then. I hope it's a sight. Or is it because I've been thinking about it every 2 seconds?! Oh! I hope it's a sight.
• It's lunch hour. I'm out!!!
  

Chronology

Zero year - Was in 2005. Contacted through phone conversation ONLY. Never interested to know who the other person is. Became friends but not so close. He on the other hand was in the midst of getting himself cleared with the current girlfriend. Was in a mess but somehow I was his shoulder to cry on or more or less the person who kept on advising him to leave that particular girl at that time (Truth be told, I can't handle miseries that's why I convinced him to leave the girl instead). Were closer and discovered that we actually went to the same institutions (matriculation & university) but somehow did not bump into each other. Met for the first time few months later caused by his brother's administration into UM. Became closer each day.

First year - Was still in the "in-love" mood. Since we studied at the same institution, we met almost everyday. Friends were shocked (obviously) and I on the other hand did not believed myself for getting into this relationship. Still, wasn't being really sure with the relationship itself, I thought it was somehow some thing that won't last long.

Second year - Managed to stabilize the relationship. We were tested on our patience and beliefs. He met with an accident. This was the year where I discovered myself that, this particular person who was at that time laying on a hospital bed is the person that I'm going to hold on too for the rest of my life. It was something that hit me at that time to even say such thing and it was convincing.

Third year - Was the year where we were first enrolling with a long-distance relationship. He graduated and migrated to Kuala Lumpur to start off a career whereby I on the other hand still stuck in Penang, struggling to complete with my degree. It wasn't easy especially when we were apart. We used to meet each other, we used to go out on weekends but this was the year that taught us to become stronger and believe with each other.

Forth year - Was the toughest. It was a hell of a year. It didn't started off pretty well and I at some point thought that it was coming to an end. Was the toughest.

Fifth year - Today, that particular same person I met 5 years ago is my fiancee. He was the first person who taught me to believe in love. He was the person who I convinced myself to always hold on too. Though we have our differences, but somehow, those differences make us come closer. A friend once said that our relationship was in a terrible mess. And I told that friend that the "mess" we made was meant for us to clean it up. And with that "mess", we come to know that this is what we opt for. What we have is nothing close to perfection but it is something very special for me to have in my entire life. No one would understand it, no one!

And with this, my dear Muhammad Izwan Md. Zubit, Happy fifth anniversary. I know I may not be the person that you always wanted. I know I've caused you trouble. I know, I am not the girl of your dream but thank you. Thank you for still believe in me, in us! Thank you for being the most patient. Thank you for being the love of my life. I've lost you once and I know now that it is you who I want to spend the rest of my life with, Insyaallah. Love you much.

Lunch break rambling

I decided not to go out for lunch today. I don't feel like eating (padahal, sebungkus nasi lemak sedap sudah dihadap pagi tadi) but that's another story. I don't feel like eating due to work stress. This is what usually happen. Where there is no job to do, I'll be so depressed for not having work to do but when there's so many things that need to be done within this short crucial period of time, I'll turn crazy for not being able to "deliver" the job properly.

And this happen on Friday. Every friday for crying out loud.

Generally, we were told that consultancy means offering advices/services. That is why there's so many consultancy companies offering their services/advices in this world. There's even a sex consultancy company in the western countries (Malaysia sure akan kena banned kalau ada). That's not the issue here nor I'm delighted to talk about it. No, I'm not talking about sex. Consulting is all about giving opinion, offering good advices/services.

The same goes with advertising. Generally (again), when we are talking about advertising consultancy, we know that it is all about giving good advices in order to help one company in building their identity to the relevant industry and what not. Back then, when advertising were not as competitive as today, client tend to listen to what the agency offered. And they oftenly listened to all the suggestions that were made. They believed in the agancy. The built a strong relationship with the agency. No obligations.

But today, client plays the big role as the "Big Boss" and we the agency are mainly their kulis. We tend to give them so much. We listen to every shits that they requested. We are no longer saying NO though we know that sometimes, some things are just impossible to get done. They set the time line, not us! They have been taking over the power from us and we here just sit and do as command! It has been the other way round and we have been letting them to do so. It's tiring. It really is.

At the end of the day, we are the ones to be blamed for not being able to deliver the good job.

*Sigh*

After 5 years

We are finally engaged. What more can I say other than Alhamdulillah, Syukran! It wasn't in the plan book. Not to say that I don't want to get married and what not (it has been my "life-long ambition" to get married ever since I'm 16. No kidding!) but not within this short period of time. I did not pictured myself getting engaged/married 3 months ago but hey, I am now officially engaged! Alhamdulillah.

We've been through a lot. Hell of a lot. Never thought that it actually happened. 5 years ago, we were only friends. I was not interested with love nor relationship. But somehow you made me believe in one. We have our differences. We somehow thought that maybe we were not meant for each other. That was the hardest episode of all time. Trying to fix what was broken. Trying to be better with each other. And because of that, we are one step closer to being together, officially.

It was a special day for us, for you actually. You were officially a day older on that particular day. And so, with this opportunity, Happy Birthday Sayang. Thank you, thank you for still believe in me, in us! Thank you for sticking up with me through this 5 hell of years. Thank you.

Would like to personally thank my family who were there from day one in making this memorable day as how it was. The sacrifices, the hardship; everything! It wouldn't went smoothly without each and everyone of you. My girlfriends (Yanti, Za and Taj) for being my arms and legs, for lending your ears and shoulder to cry on. I owe you my life girls. I really do! And finally to those who came (family and friends) thanks so much for coming. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!


Love much,
me

Who said "nothing in life worth having" comes easy?

Setiap apa yang berlaku, pasti ada hikmahnya.
Setiap kejadian, ada sebabnya.
Setiap kesusahan, akan ada kesenangannya.
Setiap keputusan, ada bayarannya.
Setiap langkah, ada jalannya.
Setiap perancangan, ada tujuannya.
Setiap musibah, ada jalan penyelesaiannya.
Setiap keburukan, ada kebaikannya.
Setiap kesedihan, akan lahir kegembiraannya.
Setiap kegagalan, akan datang kejayaannya.



Yang perlu hanya bersabar, usaha, doa dan tawakal.

Good Morning Lovers

Always enjoy life, no matter how hard it seems,
When life give you a thousand reasons to cry,
Show the world that......
You have million reasons to smile

It is still a place you call HOME

Saw this while having breakfast this morning. For a man like him, who consistently writes everything against his country (economically, systematically, the people in general and whatnot), I was surprise to read what he wrote. I know nothing about the writer. Therefore, I am not judging for the person he is but it caught my eyes every time he published his writing. He claimed to be different from the others. He claimed that we are too conservative and he's not and he claimed that everything is unacceptable; as in Malaysians in general. Oh btw, he's a Malaysian who studies overseas for a Master's Degree. I also believe that he is an intelligent person (pursuing Economic for a Master's Degree, weyh!)

But after all the proclamations, he still feels that Malaysia is HOME.

I don't agree with most of his writing. Well, to some he is a genius; for being able to write something out from the box. For being able to condemn (I shall say) with what ever that happen in the country (oh please, I don't quite agree with what is currently happening too) but for me, he is just being daring but not quite honest with his words. He has a point in each of his sentences but somehow the words generated differently. Expressive he is but, I don't know something just not right.

Well, I don't quite agree with what is actually happening to my country. To Malaysia. It used to feel so safe. It used to be so harmony but nothing is the same now. People are becoming more selfish than ever. People have been damaged by money. They are concerning about their pockets rather than fulfilling the needs of the rakyat. Corruptions, being insensitive with the surrounding, being disrespectful, badan tak tahu malu and whatnot, sangat menyesakan. I feel so disgraceful for calling myself Malaysian. But in the end, we the rakyat ended up being the victim.

After all that have happened, Malaysia is still a HOME for me.

I've not being able to travel far. I've not conquered the world but I see things through different perspectives. They are a lot of things that this country can offer compare to others. Lets not comparing Malaysia with Europe or US or Russia. We are nuts. So lets compare ourselves with the fellow nuts. Take China for instance. They were once conquered by communist. They were once a negara mundur. With a greater population, they developed and now, they can afford to offer US their feet. With determination, China is no longer a negara mundur. And that is what we here should do. Not complaining our shits off.

I was once proud of the system that we have (education, economy and all) but now, I feel pity for the school kids. They have been some confusion in the education system. I feel pity for them.

But despite all that, Malaysia is still my HOME. I wouldn't want to go elsewhere. I wouldn't want to migrate to other countries. If I were given an opportunity to work in the other countries, I would for the sack of experiencing but not migrating. I still feel that Malaysia is my home.

It doesn't matter how many idiots are there conducting my country, it is still my home. Well the idiots will still remain idiots. It is up to us to determine what's right and what's not.

After all, it is my HOME.

de-stress

Work is being impossible. Everyone has been complaining of the extra hours that they have to put through just to get their work done. And that applies to me too but the only different is, I don't have to work during weekends unlike others but work is all over my desk but I'm all here writing crap. I decided not to proceed with what ever job that I have to do today. I just want to enjoy the remaining hours I have before the clock reaches 5.30. Work can wait. I'm not going to tolerate with work today. I'm putting everything on hold. That's about it.


So, in order to ease the pressure, I googled some pretty beach holiday pictures and found the one shown above. It was taken from a view of a Phi Phi Island in Krabi. With this serene-beautiful-breath-taking picture I've decided to go to Krabi for honeymoon. Yes, I am that excited. This is what you get when you're working under pressure. Well, the price is affordable but it's all depends on seasonal factor as well. I blame it on working under pressure.

I have to face the fact that I'm not going anywhere except this four walls that I'm facing. I have to face the fact that the lady in front of me is the one that I have to handle for the rest of my working life. I have to face the fact that this is how things are; their way of working, punching everyone, literally; pushing everyone to the end limit; facing the bloody-hell stress please dear god help me. And I have to face the fact that I'm not going to get the job that I was hoping to get and somehow I have to let it go and move forward.

So, this is how letting go feels. It hurts so bad. I've never felt so disappointed with my life before till this letting go drama happened (not that there hasn't been anything to be disappointed for) but I was hoping to get the job so badly I cried when it already been 2 weeks and no calls have been received. I have to move forward.

It's nearly 6.30pm and I am still in the office. I need to get this thing done before shutting the computer off. Work that is. How I wish that I could just be a housewife and raise four kids without having to be worried about work.

It looks like I have to stay for an extra hour or so. It's raining heavily and I have to take public transportation to get back home.