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There's a lot that we can do with technology. Be it either good or bad. Technology was made to help people by making life easier. It is part of a communication tool. A person who is living here in Malaysia can always stay connected with a friend who is staying in France for instant *ahemm* without having to be worried for the amount of money that they have to spend just to say "hi". Even with a different of timezone wouldn't cost any problem. Bills can be paid through online, shopping can be made with just a simple click and you can even find a life partner through technology. But, technology can be very harmful if it is not being use properly. It can cost damages to your life. Nothing is impossible when it comes to technology. There is no terminology of privacy is used when dealing with technology. Better still, it can be your worst nightmare.

Speaking of which, I googled myself awhile ago. As kodi as it sounds, I know you too googled your name sometimes. And who doesn't anyway?! As surprised as it looked like, I found this on the number 3 of my search results. I don't quite remember asking for it by somehow it was there in the net.

Huraian TL Ajlaa Azam (09-07-1985)

12 02 2009

Kod # 3 – Ceria, Elemen - Api

Individu ini adalah seorang yang serba-boleh atau dalam english – ”all-rounder”. Idealistik, Aktif dan berpandangan jauh. Seorang yang tahu dan faham apa yang dia kehendaki.

Berkebolehan dalam membezakan perkara baik dan jahat. Juga mempunyai kebolehan dan berbakat. Boleh menjadi kaya dan berharta. Kebiasaannya, individu ini akan berjaya dalam masyarakat sebelum umur 30 tahun.

Perkara negatif ialah individu ini boleh menjadi terlalu agresif, tidak penyabar dan cepat panas baran. Individu ini mengambil mudah sesuatu perkara dan tidak tegas (tidak munasabah) dan kadang kala seorang yang nakal.

Suka berterus terang dalam berkata-kata menyebabkan terdapat turun naik dalam perhubungan. Sekiranya perhubungan ini tidak dijaga dengan baik, ianya boleh menyebabkan keretakan dalam perhubungan dan berlaku kekejaman. Mudah mengekspresi pandangan dan perasaan anda terhadap sesuatu perkara.

Mengikut pola nombor kombinasi pula, anda adalah seorang yang tak suka duduk diam. Anda juga mudah untuk bergaul dengan orang-orang kenamaan dan pegawai atasan. Bagus untuk berniaga ini.

Perkara yang perlu dipelajari:

1) Perlu belajar untuk melihat sesuatu dengan lebih realistik.

2) Cuba menghabiskan sesuatu yang telah anda mulakan.

3) Fikir dahulu sebelum meluahkan sesuatu

Golongan terkenal yang mempunyai nombor 3:

Anwar Ibrahim (bekas TPM) , Wayne Rooney (bintang bolasepak Manchester United), Christiano Ronaldo (bintang bolasepak Manchester United), Robinho (bintang bolasepak Brazil dan Manchester City), Alan Alda (selebriti Hollywood), Bill Cosby (selebriti Hollywood

Sungguh menakjubkan! A sample of a free consultation by the help of technology. And I bet, it can be more than just a consultation for you. Be nice to technology or they'll get it back to you in a way that you couldn't just imagine.

Rintihan jiwa siri pertama

It started off pretty well; amazingly well. I thought that it could be the place where I can actually lay my butt on. At least for a year or two. I thought I could be good in there considering all the good feedback that I've been hearing before joining the team. It has been a dream come true for me for being able to be part of the family for the fact that it was the one place that I've been dreaming working with.

The people, the environment and the joy of working were the reasons why I decided to join them. They were awesomely-awesome (if you know what I mean) but the scenario change after reaching the 7th month being an employee. It changes tremendously. I started to hate the place. I've been dragging myself every morning waking up just to get ready for work. It was never like that. I was looking forward for work months ago. But it changes now!

Everyone starts showing their true colors or was it me who is not being serious with work? I think because of the age factor that made me feel uncomfortable with the environment. I'm not pointing anyone but looking through the majority of employees in the company, no wonder everyone leaves.

I've never felt that it was a problem. I mean, dealing with a mature person (trying to be wised here) wasn't a big problem. But it will be one when they acted like a foolish old man/lady. Was it hard to even listen to what we would like to say? Doesn't our opinion count? We (the younger generation) make mistakes. We are young, fresh with no experience in hand and that is why we make mistakes and we learned from it. Therefore, it is your job to guide and teach and willing to let us experience and feel the excitement of working in the agency. Not scream and shout and make those stuck-up-bitch-face-looking. You can't expect us to be excellent with our job within days or months. I bet you were not as good as you are now when you first started working. And some goes to us, lady!

It's no longer fun going to the office. I need a new environment. A new place where toleration is practiced. I don't think I can hold myself any longer, within that same cubicle, facing the same wall and looking at the same face.

Patience is virtue.

We tend to take things for granted. We neglected the people who are close to our hearts intentionally. We thought that they understand us; that they can actually read whats there in our mind as if our heads were made by a see-thru glass window. And as a result, we constantly break those meaningful hearts and casually be fine with it. We apologized just for the sack of apologizing. We promised to change things for the better but honestly, we don't. And again, those hearts were broken but only this time, it's no longer fixable.

I was once like what I've mention above months ago. I wasn't aware about it till it hit me bad that brought me to face a depression. I took medication (the stupidest thing I've ever commit) for I thought that it could help me at some point, but it didn't. I was falling to the stage of point where I thought that I could never be fixed; that I have lost it, permanently.

The worst part was, I've stopped believe in myself again.

I was living under the dark cloud wondering what went wrong. There were so many questions in my head but I couldn't find the answers. It was within that short period of time that I've lost myself completely. It felt as if I was living inside someone else body that my actual body was buried in the jungle. I couldn't believe that it actually happened; to me!

It was my fault; for all that had happened, it was caused by me. I was being too stubborn to be living selfishly. I couldn't be bothered caring about other people's feeling other than mine. I was living my life selfishly. And this is the price that I have to pay.

After months of going through the recovering process, I must say that I've made some progressions. Though I might not be fully recovered, but I'm glad that I managed to get it through. It wasn't easy. It wasn't easy convincing myself that everything is going to be fine. It wasn't easy to have faith in myself again. It wasn't easy telling myself everyday that I am strong. It wasn't easy watching everything that I've caused and it wasn't easy to get the pictures out from my head.

This is the price that I have to pay for being a selfish bastard, for taking things for granted, for wasting those precious hearts, and mostly for hurting my own self. But I am still here, standing for as long as I can hoping that everything will come to an end.

But there's always light at the end of every tunnel. I'm glad that I managed to pick myself up from keep on falling. I managed to get my face straight from the big slap. I managed to be standing on my feet again from hesitation.

After the "heart-to-heart" conversation I had last night I know that I'm going to be fine; that everything will be fine again. It's always good to come clean with each other every once in awhile. At least I know that I made progression, that we are back on our track again.

It's just a matter of time. And time will consume everything. Though I might not be able to forget everything, but I managed to forgive everyone, open-heartedly.

Confession #3

I want to feel to be able to write again. I want to feel to be good in writing again. I want to have the inspirations everytime I start making a sentence. But all that I've been writing now are all junks, crappy stuff either be an emotional heart-breaking statements or a political related issues (which I have no idea of having interest over the subject).

I will end up making an unfinished-halfway-done-tiba-tiba-blank-post yang akhirnya dicancelkan tanpa sebarang perasaan belas kasihan. Just like this one. Not forgetting the haywire of grammatical error in every sentences. I think, I need to go for an intensive english class or maybe, maybe joining my little cousin in his standard 3 english class and start learning to differentiate a plural or singular based sentence.

I feel useless. I've stopped reading. All the books that placed nicely on my table are read halfway. Some are not even touched. The hibe of buying a book is still there but finishing it up will not be a successful. The excitement of knowing the ending thru a wonderful beginning has demolished; has gone down the drain. I need that excitement again. I need to feel the needing of reading a book. I need to distract myself from the world with knowledges; with a wonderful words of potraiting one's life. I need to be able to imagine again. All that I've been doing is pressuring myself with sadness. Sungguh depressing.

But I made progressions in my life.

Life - has been improving. I've recovered from my delusional-entah-apa-apa syndrome. I managed to control myself from hearing the other half of me from talking. I've took control of myself now. I managed to stay calm and think rationally. But it doesn't mean that I'm fully recovered. Recovery process takes time and that is why I said I am half way there. There are still a little bit of it placing here and there in my body which will take another half of my time to get out of my head, completely.

Work - has been depressing as always. It is the only one thing that I could never take control off. I have to admit that it has not been good compared to when I first started. The people are no longer fun. The environment is no longer fun. The office doesn't seem fun looking at all. I think I need to look for a new environment. Or maybe, maybe because I don't fit in this place anymore. *sigh*

Social networking - I managed to minimize my social surrounding. It turned out to be that some people are just not worth knowing, period!

Alot has happened lately. I guess, this is what growing up is all about. One has to take control of their responsibilities well. Prioritizing the needs and wants. Hardwork, patience and determination are required in fulfilling hopes and dreams (if you have one).

I'm going to get myself fix before it's too late.

Sekolah yang kucintai!

Referring to an article from The Malaysian Insider:-
http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/index.php/opinion/markus-lim/49940-sekolah-yang-kucintai I have my own opinion that I would love to share.

It was indeed a nice article written by Mr. Markus Lim reminiscing his memories with the school he had been with. It makes me reminiscing mine with my alma-mater which clearly has been demolished dued to development. It's so sad to think about it when I actually have no school that I can refer to. What would I say to my children/grandchildren/great grandchildren the greatness of the school their mother/grandmother had been with?

Nenek dulu sekolah mana? Hmm, sekolah nenek dah kena runtuh buat Pavillion. Sad, sad.

Well, that wasn't what I want to share. One of the comments received from the article was referring to how bad the school has been for producing two (2) politicians who have been condemned for being unreliable when it comes to solving a sensitive issue regarding the practices of religion in this country.

My say would be, it was not the school that had done wrong. It was not the school system that had done damages to the individuals but the person itself that has not practising what they have been thought.

The school that I've been and the school that was written in the article practices the same principles when it comes in educating their students. I have close connection with the school as most of my cousins/uncles/aunties were either from SJI, VI, CBN or BBGS. And we were thought to respect each other regardless of what religion you practise.

If I can remember correctly, those four schools were first ruled by the churches. And that explained why those school were situated next to a church. Only years later that the government decided to take over the schools as a purpose of standardizing the education system. But exceptional was given to SJI and CBN (and most of Convent schools, Assunta, La Salle etc) for they can still maintain under the development of the churches with no questions arised.

If you have been to these schools, you would notice that in every classrooms, there will be a cross sign situated on top of the wall (at the top of the green board). Their headmaster/headmistress would be someone from the church (with high qualification of course). There will be sunday prayers held at school every week and no one has ever questioned about it. There will also be a must for the ustazah/ustaz to perform doa every morning before school session starts. Religion was never an issue. We were all living harmoniously. We respect each religions. We have no questions about it (what are there to question anyway?) and most importantly, we respect each other. No racial conflict happened in school.

And I don't quite understand why the matter with "Allah" arised. If we respect each other regardless of any religion you practise, we would understand the important of respecting our beliefs. One does not need to be a politician to understand this. One does not need to be a great scholar to determine what's wrong and what's right when it comes to religion and beliefs. A 10 year-old kid can understand the importance of respecting ones belief. One just need to use the brain to think not the other parts of the body.

I have my say. I'm not siding anyone (I don't think I want to side anyone for any of that matter) Coz this matter is too small to think about. There would be other bigger things to solve compare to this little one. There are other serious issues that need to be solved compare to this tiny-winy little thing. I have my say.

As my school motto say,

"Nisi Dominus Frustra"

Without God, All is in Vain.