Marriage 101

I've been wanting to post about it tapi selalu je terlupa and since I have all the time in the world today which is rarely happened to me especially during office hour, I say why not update blog just to kill time. And, not that I'm any better at it, kahwin pon baru setahun dua jagung dan tidaklah hebat untuk memberi advise to anyone who needs it but I believe a simple "rule of thumb" can be applied by anyone be it yang baru kahwin atau dah berkahwin untuk berpuluh-puluh tahun.

By this, I'm not saying that I have the most perfect marriage in life yang baru sahaja mencecah 2 tahun January lalu. I can say that my marriage is not as romantic as any other couples who just reached 2 years of being together. I don't have a romantic husband and I'm not romantic either. So, tidaklah romantik jadinya but this is who we are. We find romantic in a different way, our own ways.

Marrying someone who you knew for 8 years doesn't make it any easier. You may say that hey, you probably have known the person inside out that will make your marriage life "easier" but girl, I must say that it is even harder than you think. You thought you know that person inside out but when you finally BE with each other, semua segala toceng, kentut time tidur semua keluar. And only then, you will realize that you actually know nothing about your partner. Betulkan?

It's a challenge actually to make sure that your relationship with your partner is as harmony as possible. Dapat isteri macam saya yang kurang daya kesabaran kena lah dapat suami yang penuh kesabaran macam suami saya. You see, I've never knew that my husband (boyfriend then) can be very sabar especially when he has to deal with a person like me. I am stubborn, very very stubborn. We used to argue very much even till now we still are. And I can be very dramatic when it comes to argument. Kalau dulu, memang dah kena tinggal dah tapi dia sabar. Not to puji but I really envy his patience. With that, I have to make sure that our relationship tak boring. Not that we are the interesting type of people but when you tend to be with a partner whom you have been with for years, boring tuh mesti ada. So, tak kan nak suruh suami boring dengan kita kot! And you have to bare in mind that marriage is forever bukan untuk sehari dua saja.

I got to confess that at times, I do feel like staying alone - to be just with myself tapi kita kena istiqammah and berfikir kenapa kita bersetuju untuk diijabkabulkan dan atas niat apa kita menjalinkan perkahwinan. Hence, I've come to a conclusion of not to just be selfish and start thinking about my partner - my husband's feeling. And most importantly is to be patience. Kalau Izwan boleh bersabar kenapa Ajlaa tidak boleh? After all, I'm in this together with him. Kalau satu orang sahaja yang bekerja mestilah tak jadi bukan? I have to work together with my husband and BE PATIENCE!

Orang cakap when you married your partner it means you are actually marrying his/her whole family which is true. Kadang-kadang masalah keluarga suami pon boleh jadi satu masalah kepada diri sendiri. With that, you  need to always have a good relationship with your in-laws. Alhamdulillah, I don't have problem with this. Memandangkan I'm staying with my parents, I have to make sure that my husband and my family are in a good relationship else I will be having a huge problem. Yes, menjaga hati kedua-dua belah pihak amatlah susah kadang-kadang kena sampai makan hati sendiri but that is the perks of being married. And always, always treat your sister/brother in-law as if they are your own flesh and blood. Lagipon, dalam agama pon hukumnya seperti adik-beradik sendiri. So, yes never set boundaries between you and your in-laws. Boleh ada problem besar jadinya.

1 thing good about me (bukanlah nak puji diri sendiri) is that I tak pernah berkira especially when it comes to $$$. I always remind my husband that kita berdua bekerja and we earn our own money. Apa salahnya bersusah senang bersama and Alhamdulillah this is what we practice. Of course, living in this world need you to have $$$. Kadang-kadang takde duit boleh bercerai-berai but Alhamdulillah we managed to control our financial especially now that we have Iman, financial can be very crucial but Alhamdulillah, syukur for the rezeki.

One thing that I always keep in mind is that to never stop communicating with my partner. Macam mana sebok pon at least we communicate even if it has to be on mobile. Having a husband who works around the clock mengalahkan Perdana Menteri sometimes memang susah nak berjumpa. Jumpa bila atas katil itupon if he is lucky that I am still awake. Normally, he'll be home when I'm already asleep or half asleep. Jadi, komunikasi kami sangatlah limited. With that lack of communication leads us to so many problem kadang-kadang gaduh tak tentu pasal and it creates boundaries between you and your partner. And that also leads you to finding other person to be your "talking partner" which will eventually be the biggest problem in your relationship.  And never, never to start looking for other person untuk jadi tempat meluahkan perasaan. You don't know what you're getting yourself into. People may take advantage of you. So yes, never stop communicating. Communication is the key to a success relationship and I believe that!

A core factor of keeping a happy marriage is TRUST! You just need to trust your partner. After all, dah kahwin kan? Macam mana boleh tak trust your own partner. This one is for you to determine sebab ini melibatkan hati dan perasaan. I've been cheated once and I have a trust problem. Whether I like it or not, I have to overcome this in order for me to create a happy marriage.

So, there you go. Tips panjang lebar daripada Ajlaa. It's a way of me reminding myself of my own marriage. It's not going to be easy. Tak ada benda dalam dunia nih yang sentiasa bahagia. It's how you put yourself into it and how you overcome it.

Kalau niat kerana Allah, Insyaallah segalanya akan diberkati. Amin.

Blogger for Android

As jakun as it sounds, I am now posting via phone. Macam canggihkan bunyinya.

I found out that Blogger is now supported by Android (or the other way round, I don't really care) from one of the bloggers few days back and voila! Not that I update my blog so frequently but at least I can tell people that I have downloaded Blogger App (trying not to be left out from the digital world).

And I must say that it is so convenience. Sambil baring-baring golek-golek with Iman pon still boleh posting and I don't have to depend to much on my lappy. Yelah, mentang-mentanglah kena berebut lappy sendiri dengan kekanda tersayang. So yea, convenience it is.

It's close to midnight already and I have a mission to wake up as early as 4am trying to complete one of my assignments. Wish me luck!

Good night and Assalamualaikm.

Assalamualaikum

Masyaallah, it's been 3 months since we greeted 2012 and I don't know how long have I been neglecting this blog of mine. Dah lost track of time sampai boleh ada spam dalam blog ni. Apology for that and to whoever who received a spam from my yahoo account, please kindly ignore it. I am no longer active on that account.

There are so many things happening in my life right now. Iman dah 1 year old! Alhamdulillah. I'm still 1/3 mother, 1/3 career woman and another 1/3 being a part time student. My days are pretty much occupied; Monday to Sunday and due to that I have to take an extra day off (just like today) just to run errands. Yes, you read it right. I took a day off just to run errands.

Ok, Iman kacau. Got to go. Assalamualaikum.