There was an interesting topic on Mix FM this morning which resembles 100% of what I'm thinking, have thought and maybe considering to do in my life. The question that I believe most of us working mums have continuously asking ourselves whether should we indulge to it or not. Soalan antara hidup dan mati of being a stay-at-home mum or continue being a working-mum?
Ever since I had Iman, I have been telling myself, maybe it's about time for me to stop working and be a fulltime-stay-at-home-mum. I even had a conversation with Izwan pertaining to my needs on wanting to be a stay-at-home-mum. Working in the industry where time is very "precious" especially during the working days makes me constantly feeling guilty for leaving my family unattended. I spend most of my time at work and I only reach home when Iman is already in bed which then again makes me looks like an irresponsible parent. Hence why I have been doubting myself in pursuing my career and being a mum all at the same time.
After much consideration and a little bit of consultation with the husband, I have decided to stick with being a working mum. It's tough but I believe I can do it.
I was reluctant at first and still with the idea of wanting to be a stay-at-home mum but then again, when I rethink of all the consequences, I should really stick to being a working mum for the betterment of our (my) family.
The unfulfilled feeling is just temporary - Syaitan yang selalu menghasut. As a mum, I have ensured that everything is in order. I have learnt (and mastered) to divide the working hours and the time that I should be spending with my family. Masa dengan keluarga is really a masa with keluarga. I know for the fact that I will be very busy during weekdays. And therefore, by the time I'm home, my time is fully spend for the family. Weekends memang dedicated for family.
Eventhough my parents are there to help (yes people, I am still staying with my parents) but I do believe that the responsibility of managing my own family is in my hand. Yes, I'm forever grateful that I have a very understanding and a very helpful helper. But that does not mean that my duty as a mum is lesser. Iman is after all my daughter and it is my job to ensure that her wellbeing, education and life in general is in order.
Yes, money can't buy happiness but everything in this world needs money. Education needs money, petrol needs money, and let's not forget that money helps to serve food on the table. And therefore, I have to work to ensure that I can provide nothing but the best to my child(ren).
I know I've worked my way and I know some people have judged me for not being a good mum. What people sees is just the surface of it. They do not know what's inside and all that they can do is to judge and I shouldn't be fooled by the negativity.
As a person, I have my own achievement that I would like to achieve - career growth, life stability. I have my own ambition that I wish to accomplish. I don't see that having a family can be the barrier of me wanting to improve myself. It's complementing each other actually and therefore, I have to build a strong positive mind to ensure that both areas are being taken care off. Alhamdulillah, I have a supporting family and husband. Of course, there will be hiccups every now and then, but as long as I believe in it, Insya Allah, Allah will show me the way. Kerja itu juga ibadah. Kalau kita lakukan dengan ikhlas, insya Allah segalanya akan diberkati.
Having said that, there is no wrong for those who want/decided to be a stay-at-home mum. Kerja yang amat mulia. This is just my point of you. You are open to agree to disagree.
A mum will always want the best for their family and only a mother will know what to do with her life.