Rewind

About a year ago, someone came to my life; uninvited. Honestly, I don't really know how to feel; was it a good thing or bad thing for me, I'm not pretty know for sure. It was hurtful, bad, disastrously harmful; for me that is and no one, no one can help me at that very point of time. But after awhile, when I come to think about it, it did good to me after all. It thought me a lot in so many ways. In fact, if that person ever comes in again (hopefully not!) I would personally like to thank her for doing so. You really did open my eyes and make me see those unseen visuals. Thank you!

The unforgettable scenes were playing in my head again yesterday. I was about to get myself ready for terawih when it hits my mind. I started to think about "what ifs" again. And the feeling of insecurities were playing their parts pretty well to pump the heartbeat faster than its' usual. I was nervous and scared at the same time. I don't think I'm capable of handling the same situation if ever it happens again. And I pray (very hard I must say) that the same thing won't happen........again even in a million years to come. I don't think I'm strong enough to face another drama in life. One is good enough for me.

I made myself a vow right after I asked Izwan for an answer. I promise not to think about it, not even in a mili-second of my life. Coz boy, I'm glad he gave me the right answer. Happy is not the right expression but thankful it is! I couldn't bear seeing myself just like how I was a year ago and truth be told, I don't think I'm ready to see the person who literally changed my life after what had happened. Let us keep it this way. I wish I could personally thank you but now is not the right time and I don't pretty sure know when that is. But I would like to thank you for all that you've done, sincerely!

There's no need to look back to your past. I've learned from it and I wish not to remember it for the rest of my life. It was hell and dark and no fun at all. Something that is not worth keeping.

And it's about time to let you go. No more rewinding.

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Fadhilat Solat Terawih Malam-Keempat
Memperolehi pahala ia sebagaimana pahala orang-orang yang membaca kitab-kitab Taurat, Zabur, Injil dan Al-Quran.