Rezeki Ramadan

I received a call from one of the lecturer last month persuading me to apply for this programme. Well, the intention has always been there for me to pursue with Masters but I never really go and apply. The deal is to let the husband to continue first and then I'll think about applying. But the call that I received really, finally push me to apply. It was only a 2 days process as the lecturer helped me in applying. Actually, the application date has passed but the lecturer really helped me with this. I settled with my application in just one night, submitted the form to her the following morning and made the payment on the same day itself. Settled!

But I wasn't hoping to get. Ha! Jiwa kacau.

So, last Friday I thought of checking on my application. Sekali dapat. Alhamdulilllah.

It was actually a mixed feeling for me. I'm happy and clueless at the same time. I don't know what to feel or how to react on this. Dulu, time degree bila dapat tahu application dapat, melompat-lompat bagai nak rak, yang ini I seriously sat on my chair blurry don't know how to react with no feelings or whatsoever. Clueless.

I waited awhile before texting my husband to inform him on the news. Clearly, he was more excited than I am. 

One thing for sure that worries me is how am I going to juggle with work, family, Iman all at the same time? My working hours doesn't always fix. I'm still actively breastfeeding, nanti sure susu akan berkurangan. Musnahlah harapan nak bf-ing till Iman 2yo. Plus, Iman is just 7mo. But after consulting with my family, I am going to go for this and pray for the best.

When I think about it, it actually a great platform for me to pursue. I mean, I have always wanted to apply and this is my opportunity. Of course, there will be obstacles. Life isn't easy right? I have to juggle and face it with strong body, mind and soul. Chewahh.

I accept this as Rezeki Ramadan. Rezeki anak juga. The good always say, bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemuadian. So, I shall bersusah dahulu for a bersenang kemudian, Insyaallah.

Go! Go! Ajlaa!

Where Do People Check Their Phones?

Couldn't agree more.

27

I celebrated my 27th birthday over the last weekend. It was nothing big. Celebrated with close family members hosted by my maklong as her first daughter, my cousin, we share the same birth date. And since Ramadan is just around the corner, we had tahlil and doa' selamat together on the same night. Just how I want my 27th birthday to be celebrated.

I am truly blessed, syukur alhamdulillah for the life I live.

I don't ask much this year. All I ask is just for Allah to grant me with a lot of patience which I'm lacking much. They say, a year older a year wiser. Truthfully, I'm lacking of the wiser part.

So, with me being 27 this year, I pray for a healthy life for me to be able to be a better muslimah, to be a better wife to my husband, mother to my children, daughter to my parents & parents-in-law and sister to my siblings including the in-laws.

And also to loose some weight *shy*shy*

Like I told my husband, 27 is not old, it is just a number. I will always be 19 at heart. LOL

Have a good day everyone.

Iman Alexandria is 6mo

She is 6 months and 15 days to be exact.

Oh my, how time flies. I can still remember holding her on the 1st day she was born. Small and tiny but she is a big girl now. Chicky and happy. Very active I must say. You should see how her hands and legs move.

Weighing 6.45kg she is still on breastmilk. She was introduced to solids when she was 5 and half months old. Alhamdulillah, she can accept all.

In terms of development, she has stabilized her prone position. In fact she has mastered it when she was 2 months old. Problem is, she is too lazy to practise it. Is it normal? Now, she tries to crawl whenever she lie down but again, malas! Haish, ikut perangai malas siapa lah nih?!

She can sit stably. She lifts her body everytime she's on someone's lap. But she prefers to stand instead of sitting. And she can't stand still, always jumping around.

Had her 6 months injection last week and Alhamdulillah, she is healthy and ready to shine, chewah!

I am looking forward to another 6 months, Insyaallah. She'll be 1. Excited!

Dear baby Iman,

Ibu is very happy to have you in my life. No words can describe how happy and thankful I am for having you. You are my life. Semoga menjadi anak yang solehah yang patut kepadaNya. Ibu loves you very much.

Dilemma of A Young Working Mother

I am a working mother. And my working hours doesn't permit me to leave office early (by early means 6pm sharp). Well, working in this industry doesn't really have a fix working hours. It's not that I work till late at night everyday, it's just that my working hours usually ends around 8-ish an above. There are few occasions where I do get to leave the office early. The agency I work with is not that cruel (unlike other Internatinal agencies). The policy is to make sure that you deliver your task/work as per deadline and you deliver it well. Staying back for extra hours is not encourage but if needs be; then stay.

And because of this, I usually arrived home when my baby has fallen asleep and that makes me feel so guilty for not being home. I feel like I'm a bad mother. A mother who doesn't take care of her own daughter. The only time I have to play with her is when she wakes up in the middle of the night for feeding - itu pon if si kecil itu bangun, if not then the next morning lah jawabnya. Itu pon adalah untuk bagi Iman breakfast and to prep her for the day. Sad, isn't it?

And that is why I don't really go out on weekends anymore. I'll make sure that I will spend my day and night with my baby girl over the weekend and if I feel like going out for a shopping or something, I will make sure that baby Iman is with me.

The problem with me is I'm so in love with my crazy-hectic-work that I don't even want to quit my job to a more relaxing-flexible-like-kerani kinda job. I like what I do right now and that have caused me my time with my family.

I have asked my husband for the permission to become a housewife so that I will have all the time in the world to spend with baby Iman (and of course he said NO). But then again, I have a lot of things that I want to do for myself & my family - to make sure that they receive the best education for their future, the have a quality living, debt free; just to name a few and all that require ringgit and sense which I can only get by working. How I wish money grows on tree boleh di petik-petik macam daun di tepi jalan. Unfortunately, they are not!

Another thing is, well, I'm thankful for being able to still bf-ing my baby till today. The problem is, I'm not producing as much as I have before due to the work stress. When you're tired after the long working hours, you tend to skip a few sessions and due to that it is now drying up. The plan is to feed her till she turns two, Insyaallah but it seems that it may be impossible looking to the lack of supplies and since the demand is very high now (though baby Iman is on solids, she still drinks a lot of milk and the oz that she takes now has increases) I don't think that I can make it till she turns two.

It's hard to always stay positive. But I ain't giving up. I will try for as long as I can. After all, she has passed the 6 months must period. It should be ok, no?!

I must say that it's tough being a young working mother but if my mother can do it, so do I. She is the best example of a working mother that I shall follow. But I'm thankful for the support system I have - the family and the husband for helping out. I don't think I can do it if not with their help.

This is just the beginning. It's still too early to raise the white flag.

I.Must.Not.Give.Up.Now.