Sunday

one thing that i learned from countless of hours spending in front of the computer watching series of Lipstick Jungle is that nothing comes in a package that will be filled with cheap, fast and good things under one wrapping paper. tak tengok Lipstick Jungle pun boleh dapat ilmu berguna ini, but what the hell, i'm too slow to learn about life without getting the influences from the tv series. but what i learned today is that cheap, beautiful and fast pair of shoes are not applicable with the first statement. cheap came from the unexpected sale. beautiful was because i have been aiming for the shoes since......i am still in Penang while fast was because i did not have to wait in the long queue since they have several counters in the boutique. and that is the wonders of VINCI. but i have to admit good is not relevent with the product. but looking for something that i have to wear for tomorrow's first day in the office (chewah!) i really needed a new shoes. though it will not last for more than 3 months, (i mean, we all know the quality that VINCI is offering) but atleast, i do not have to be worried for the next 3 months. so, there you go, VINCI dan kehebatannya.

dalam dunia ini, manusia hidup dan dikurniakan otak untuk berfikir, untuk tidak menyusahkan hidup orang lain but suprisingly, brainless people are everywhere and they seem to be conquering the world. dah tahu-tahu yang kau ada anak yang mata pun belum tentu boleh nampak orang, dengan dasar ketidakpandaian minda yang dimiliki, kenapakah dengan bijaknya mendukung anak yang tak sampai setahun umurnya masuk kepanggung wayang dan menonton Terminator Salvation. dah tentu-tentu cerita tu bolehkasi pecah cuping telinga, tak pasal-pasal semua orang lebih terhibur mendengar anak kau menangis daripada jeritan kasar Christian Bale.

dan jam sudah menghampiri 11 malam. i'm going to have a long day tomorrow. very longggggg.

Lipstick Jungle-ing

while waiting for the clock to be ticking slower than usual, i've wasted my time doing lots and lots of thinking. and that explain why the ZITS has decided to make an appearance. the unpleasant ones. i was super excited 24 hours ago and my heart now is beating faster than the generator's machines.

for the thought of being excited, i am now freaking myself out.

siapa kata cuaca akan sentiasa cerah sepanjang hari? hujan boleh turun bila-bila masa saja. ok now, it's even freakier than usual. kodi!

tomorrow is sunday. ok maybe, sunday's coming in less then 3 hours. and Monday comes with a blink of an eye. i thought of being excited for Monday is good but....................

*dinner break for an hour*

mari kita sambung untuk merapu dan meraban.

so, where were we just now? ohh, happiness is not as what it would've been. i think, i've been overly excited for things that i'm unsured of. and i think that i'm making wrong choices now. hadoi! inilah akibatnya bila terlalu banyak masa untuk berfikir perkara-perkara yang tidak berkemungkinan.

lets skip the unnecessity.

today, i went to someone's wedding ceremony who's believe to lead an astray's life. melihatkan gayanya, takda lah "astray" nya. well, everyone has their own beliefs and i'm not in the right place to judge. but anywho, selamat pengantin baru. though we may not know each other (hell yeah, i just went to accompany mr. boyfriend) but i wish you all the happiness in the world. may the new chapter that the both of you opened leads to a new great future. may you be blessed with countless of joy and happiness. amin

on the other note, a better way to make a 8 year old boy to eat everything that you served him,

"kalau nak pandai, kena makan ______ (makanan yang dihidang)" atau "kalau nak dapat baju baru kena habiskan ________(makanan hidangan)".

psycho tak?!

ohh, i need my sleep.

goodnight lovebirds.

risau?!

• Malaysia's economy is not doing any good. there's more of decreasing instead of increasement. maka, binalah lagi jambatan emas Johore - Singapore. moga-moga sebalang nyamuk bisa dihapuskan. metaphoric, if you don't know what i mean.
• what is the point of listing 40 Richest Man in Malaysia when there's no better news about the economy growth? what is the good has Tan Sri-i-don't-know-what-is-the-name-of-the-chinese-man has done in increasing the economy?
• why must we be too dependable with the US and the European country? aren't we suppose to be responsible for our own?
• why am i suddenly becoming too concerned with the economy? ohh, because i'm a worried citizen. oh maybe, because i don't like najib that much and everything that he has done so far.
• maximum of 10 subjects for SPM per student is a good decision made by the ministry. ohh, i think Muhiyuddin is doing his job. afterall, what's with the so many of A's?
• muka sudah mula ditumbuhi bintik-bintik yang tidak diundang. *risau*risau*
• i still want to go to ROME for backpacking. ohh, speaking of which, congrats to BARCA for winning. though, i'm not a fan of footballing or for anything that matters, i think Barcelona deserves the winning for i-don't-know-what-league-or-division. Man U is full with gayboy-footballer-who's-more-for-the-fame.
• i miss everything about us, if you know what i mean.
• Legend of The Fall is on HBO.
• i'm hungry and i'm still waiting for the rest of the family to be back home.

titik!

craving

this is so random.

i'm craving for nasi kerabu pasar malam Jalan Taman Jerejak, Pulau Pinang dekat kedai pakcik di belakang sekali sebelah kedai runcit repair kereta.

kenapa Kuala Lumpur tidak pernah jumpe nasi kerabu sedap?

i miss Penang.

randomism

• CONGRATULATIONS to Dalina & Adra on their engagement. semoga ke jinjang pelamin.
• i don't like Perak's new MP.
• budak-budak sekarang sudah tidak mahu pergi ke sekolah selain hanya mahu merompak dan snatch thiefing. didn't they know that school is fun!
• saya akan bekerja sampai tulang-temulang patah kerana mahu kumpul duit supaya anak-anak saya akan masuk private school, walaupun saya masih belum berkahwin dan bekerja.
• saya terbuat cake tempahan Fad sedikit keras last saturday. sorry fad, i'll do better next time. heeee!
• saya sudah berangan-angan untuk membeli kereta menggunakan bulu kaki sahaja.
• i'm too excited for convocation. i don't know why.
• Yamin & Sha akan bertunang bulan hadapan. Yamin siod!
• Inga tidak dapat menerima hakikat bahawa semua kawan-kawan sudah berkahwin/bertunang. are we THAT old?!
• saya juga mahu berkahwin jugalah begitu. boleh?
• i want to go to ROME for backpacking and VENICE for honeymoon dan juga ke konsert NO DOUBT jika ia berlaku di sekitar kawasan South East Asia dengan kakak.
• i think Indonesians band are way too cool.
• i don't understand my boyfriend. but what the hell, we're complicated and love each other. kan?! heeeee
• saya menyelesaikan soalan matematik untuk kakak semalam.
• dunia ini sangat merunsingkan.
• sekarang, barulah saya boleh menerima hakikat bahawasa saya tidak dibenarkan pergi ke Finland untuk Exchange Student Programme tajaan universiti oleh emak. well, that doesn't sounds right but what the heck, its over now!
• saya mahu makan roti bakar bersalut tomato sauce.

till then, have a pleasant day!

Lo Siento

it is because, i don't want to waste more precious time fighting for the unnecessary. i want to spend all the time i have with you and built something great. something unforgetable.

thats all.

when dreams come true

remember the post i wrote in the previous blog of me trying so hard to be superbly impressive. well, alhamdullilah, it works! haha. for the thoughts of not getting the job, i was given the bestest offer ever. i got my dream job!

what more can i say, Alhamdulillah.

dreams do come true!

sementara menunggu Jun tiba, apa kata kita singgah di kedai-kedai dan memenuhkan almari dengan pakaian-pakaian yang relevent.

*hati girang*

on the other hand, while delivering another batch of cuppies at my aunty's place, ia amatlah merunsingkan dan membahayakan kawasan perumahan tersebut kerana penghuninya telah di penuhi dengan mat-mat black yang entah mana datangnya. mat black yang dimaksudkan bukanlah kaum minoriti negara ini, tetapi golongan manusia yang datang entah halal atau haram jadah telah membahayakan kawasan perumahan.

"you should move out and find another place" came out from my mouth, trying to persuade my aunty for the sake of her safetiness.

it's in Ampang to be precised!

Ampang sudah menjadi black area. Malaysia sudah tidak aman. apalah yang dorang buat selama ni?! dok sebuk merebut kerusi yang tidak ada apa-apa kepentingan langsung, dok sebuk mengempen hal-hal mat rempit dan gejala sosial yang entah mana puncanya; orang asing dengan senang lenang datang masuk negara kita buat macam negara dia sendiri. yang susah orang kita juga, yang kena rompak orang kita juga.

selfish!

and it was a dream come true for them, the outsiders to come to this place and make it like their own.

but for the time being, let me just enjoy myself for securing the job and being tremendously happy with cuppies®. thank you for the support.

good night peeps. have a nice weekend.

rumah saya

tatkala saya sedang bersiap-siap ingin membeli barangan kuih dan menandatangani perjanjian of employment. oh yes! i secured a job (but now, i think i might have the possibility of not getting the job due to rescheduling), tiba-tiba hujan turun dengan lebatnya. memang hujan tengah lebat pun di luar, tetapi yang lebih menakjubkan, hujan lebat turun dalam rumah saya.

lebih spesifik, hujan lebat turun di dalam bilik saya.

dan sekarang, rumah saya seperti kapal yang ingin berlayar.

happy ending in action

dan akhirnya saya juga bakal bergraduasi. cuma, tarikhnya saja yang belom diketahui.

Alhamdulillah.

happy ending

all the tv series that i'm downloading watching has come to its end with a happy ending. all of them. Gossip Girl 2, Desperate Housewives 5, One Tree Hill 6, Brothers & Sisters 3. they all ended happily. i guess there will be no more new season coming up. happy ending, that is what we what to watch/see. happy wonderful ending. everyone is in love with everyone. everyone get the chance to be with their love ones. everyone is given the chance to choose their own path, to forgive and to be forgiven. square share.

but i still have a long road to go. my happy ending has yet to come to its end. well, it haven't started yet.

"don't give up on your dreams. because dreams do come true, everyday"

and my dreams are making their "appearance" soon. *crossing fingers*

"tuah ayam nampak di kaki, tuah manusia siapa yang tahu". and now, i'm reciting idiom in the middle of the night.

when i thought that nothing good is coming my way, i was totally wrong. well, there's nothing wrong with hoping and praying for greater things to come. but i'm pretty much comfortable with my current status. running business straightly from home. there's nothing else that can beat the happiness but like i said, there's nothing wrong with hoping for greater things to come.

and i guess one of the greater things is coming, knocking on my door wanting me to choose either going for an A road or heading to the B road.

it's not that i'm being ungrateful. i AM grateful. for things that i've achieved so far.

i had this kind of feelings not to long ago. rezeki datang bergolek and you feel like grabbing all of them at once. tapi hakikatnya, tuhan hanya datang dan menguji ketamakan manusia (me) dalam memilih pintu yang betul.

honestly, i have no idea what to choose. if i were given the power, i'll choose both dan menjadi manusia yang paling tamak dalam dunia.

but right now, i'm just afraid of choosing the wrong one. it's my future we're talking about. i want my happy ending too. but my happy ending needs to start somewhere. and that "somewhere" is taking its toll on me. undecisive.

tuhan, berikanlah petunjuk. amin. dah macam nak pilih menantu pulak.

siapa kata?!

• who would have thought, going out for a date could be so exhausted. kalau diizinkan untuk aku berumahtangga, i'm not going to have babies right after. that is for sure. i just couldn't imagine, how parents do. going out with your children yang pantang tengok alat permainan. i just couldn't understand. semuanya dia nak. kopak!
• walaupun komputer memiliki antivirus yang hebat dan sentiasa di-update setiap masa, who would have thought, 7321 treats were found while cleaning the disk.
• siapa sangka duduk rumah dengan tanpa membuat apa-apa mampu untuk mengait keuntungan yang lebih 100%. i'm so loving it!
• who would have thought, raising a child needs lots and lots of couragement. dan juga kesabaran yang melampaui segala-galanya.
• P.Ramlee memang seorang yang hebat walaupun tidak memiliki wajah yang tampan setanding Josh Hartnett.
• siapa boleh sangka, lebih sejuta manusia mencari pekerjaan di Malaysia. di mana datangnya manusia-manusia ini?!
• my convocation is still no where to be seen. bakal di postpone katanya. wtf?
• my cats can talk. but i don't understand their languages.
• i need to know my results. it's killing me!

note to self:

• i'm so grateful for things that i've achieved so far.
• i'm blessed with loving people around me.
• i'm so happy with my cupcakes business. it's running smoothly, alhamdullilah.
• i'm tired and sleepy with a little bit of confussion. apa kejadah ntah!
• apartment di wangsa maju itu adalah rumah idamanku. dan akan kekal menjadi idaman sampai bila-bila. talking about earning a big sum of cash. i don't think so.
• tiap-tiap minggu budak comel akan datang ke rumah. itu kebahagian!

official

ladies and gents, i would like to introduce to you, my one and only cuppiesland. yes, it is now offically in the web.

http://cuppiesland.blogspot.com

memory lane

dulu, waktu masih kecil dan berhingusan, pagi-pagi dipaksa bangun pagi untuk ke sekolah, di paksa untuk menghafal sifir di dindang, berhempas pulas menghafal ejaan untuk di soal sebelum masuk tidur, spelling-bee, membasuh dan mengapur kasut setiap hujung minggu supaya kelihatan putih untuk ke sekolah, 5 pasang baju sekolah biru putih yang di pakai hari-hari, countless of school books that need to be completed, homeworks, baju busuk pulang ke sekolah, beg koyak rabak, masuk tidur jam 10 malam dan juga bebelan ibu bapa kerana keputusan peperiksaan yang tidak membanggakan.

all that i could think of, at that time, hanya waktu yang cepat untuk menjadi dewasa dan bekerja sambil mengumpul duit yang banyak serta menjadi kaya raya.

but when the time has finally arrived, when i am suppose to be looking for a job in order to kumpul duit seperti yang diidamkan, all that i could think of, right now, is the time that i've wasted chasing adulthood.

alangkah indahnya menjadi budak kecil dan memakai topeng spiderman bila-bila masa sahaja without having so many things in mind. nothing to be worried about just play and have fun!

Ibu Mertuaku

Tan Sri P. Ramlee (arwah) was a visionary man! who would have thought, making a movie highlighting the tremendous life of having a disfunctinal mother-in-law can be such a hit with numerous good music in line. a hit too! dan ia akhirnya membawa kepada sebuah konklusi bahawa ibu mertua adalah sesuatu yang tidak digemari.

mother-in-law is always the problem in the marriage constituency. usually involve the man's side of the family. biasalah, berurusan dengan ibu mertua bukanlah sesuatu yang mudah.

rasionalnya, based on general knowledge, tanggungjawab seorang anak lelaki walaupun sudah berumahtangga harus menjaga dan mentaati serta sentiasa memelihara hubungan yang baik dengan ibunya. the mother is a fix responsibility to them eventhough they have indulged themselves in marriage. dan dengan sebab itu juga, si ibu selalunya mempunyai kuasa vito dalam memilih pasangan untuk si anak lelaki.

perempuan jenis ini tidak sesuai. perempuan tidak setaraf ini tidak sesuai. perempuan tidak setinggi ini pelajarannya tidak sesuai and the list goes on. but the truth is, behind all these excuses, the actual fact is that, they (the mothers) have infurity in them for losing their child. for not being prepared watching their children taking someone else's hand for marriages. seolah-olah merasakan bahawa mereka (para ibuan) terpaksa merebut si anak lelaki dengan pasangan (si isteri kepada anak lelakinya) dalam mendapatkan kasih sayang.

well, this is the fact. i've seen lots of these things happened. walaupun kita beranggapan bahawa zaman moden, ibu-ibu akan berfikiran moden. masalahnya, zaman je yang moden, otak manusia tidak pernah moden pun.

security, yes. but infurity, its a big no-no.

walapun P.Ramlee menunjukkan ketidakpuashatian si ibu kepada anak perempuannya berkahwin dengan seorang ahli musik, senarionya tetap sama.

my mother once told me that she had to learn to cook kari first before was given the green light for marrying my dad and she had to stay at my father's house for a week or so just to learn to cook kari from my grandfather just to impress the family that she can cook a prefect kari just like them, the Perakians.

hakikat yang sering di dengar, sebelum berumahtangga dengan lelaki utara harus pandai memasak untuk memikat hati si ibu mertua. MEMIKAT HATI IBU MERTUA bukannya memikat hati si suami. and it was believed to be practiced till today. i don't know the releventness but that is what i heard.

probably mereka sudah moden dan tidak kesah sekiranya tidak pandai memasak.

but anywhoo, motifnya adalah untuk memberitahu bahawa ibu mertua adalah sesuatu yang tidak mudah untuk di handle seperti yang digambarkan oleh P.Ramlee tetapi tidaklah seteruk sehingga harus membutakan mata dengan mencocok mata denga garfu.

bezanya, sekarang, berkahwin dengan lelaki yang bergelaran "ahli musik" sudah boleh diterima kerana ahli musik juga memiliki degree yang tinggi. contohnya, Mr. Acis yang handsome yang memiliki degree in Music dari Amerika. one of the top music university in the world and they (he and sheila majid) lived happily ever after. as what we see on television. kesimpulannya, ahli musik adalah setaraf dengan majistret kerana masing-masing ber-degree.

tetapi mungkin juga ada ibu mertua yang se-cool, mat cool kawanku?!

Perak Darul Ridzuan

Darul Ridzuan ke?

looking to what has happened (and i don't think that it will stop any time soon) in Perak, i must say that it is nothing about shameful.

all that they are fighting for is that damn sit. the MP post.

sudah-sudah lah tu.

pity to those who are in Perak now. even my father is too ashame to call himself Perakians.

my father is a Perakian. eventhough he has stopped from going back to his hometown due to no longer having any more family members left, but we (he) has never stopped visiting the town that he grew up whenever he has the time. normally, during the time he has to send me back to Penang. dah satu jalan, apa salah singgah. and he has never stopped in telling us stories about his childhood life having the fun playing football especially during the rainny days. Biasalah, Taiping kan 26 hari dalam sebulan akan hujan.

"malu nak mengaku orang perak" came out from his mouth last week.

if i were in his shoes, i might probably say the same thing.

the way i see it, and i believe that people in Perak see the same thing, they are fighting for a stable life, wondering about their children's safetiness, stable income, enough food for the family, stabling their small businesses and trying to get rid of the rempits if ever they can but all that they're hearing, watching and listening is the MP post that belongs to whom?

cukup-cukup lah tu. enough with the politics! rakyat kau tengah merana oit!

Babysitter is a new Executive

ohh yes, i'm still babysitting. and oh yes, i'm enjoying every bits of it! sejujurnya. i think i'm prepared to be a mom now.

out of the sudden. tiada kaitan.

anywhoo, i was never really enjoy reviewing politics. they're just playing dumb. i mean, showing off their dumbness with the highest possibility of getting the cheapest sympathy from the rakyat. well, i guess your drama isn't working so well afterall heh?! but with the recent incident happened in Perak, with a totally different perspectives given, well, it caught my eyes. i guess, they were really playing dumb.

the results came out clean. revealed the unrevealation (wujud ke perkataan ini?!). i guess that is what people like me (or my mom) wants to hear.

i never really like you and i don't think that i'm going to like you in the future. well, it was a mistake they choose you to become the successor. well, they don't have any other choices, aren't they?! but i think, you'll get your side of a plate soon.

and suddenly, i'm the next ______ (i don't know, fill in the blanks for me. i don't actually know any political activist) bohoo! this is temporary till i find something interesting that i can review on.

cuaca sangat panas yang dijangka akan berlarutan sehingga September, bak kata The Star. ini membawa kepada resolusi untuk membotakan kepala kerana sudah tidak mampu untuk membasuhnya dengan kadar yang terlalu kerap. i don't like going for a quick showering either.

out of the topic.

another point of showing an unfixed mind. i'm in the midst of preparing myself for an online business. it is still under construction. hope for the best!

3 dalam 1, seperti kopi instan nescafe.

i need to sleep, i need some rest.

miss babysitter is out!

she's the aunty, he's the neighbour

and they met couple of years ago as working colleagues. jatuh cinta and decided to move a step forward.


hari ini, mereka secara rasminya menjadi tunangan.


and as a token of celebrating the love, i baked 100 cuppies for the guests.

the love cuppies.

dengan memilih tarikh yang superb hebat, i couldn't agree more, bertunang pada mother's day adalah sesuatu yang sangat extremely sweet.

oleh yang demikian,

happy mother's day, emak. though we didn't had any celebration for you, i hope you enjoy the day with full of pleasantness. i know i haven't been a good daughter to you but i am very very grateful for having you as my mother for pouring me with unconditional love and care.

i love you, mother!

hari ini dalam sejarah.

"i'm no married, i have no master. but i am the queen of my people. i am me" - Queen Elizabeth I


she has proven the world that no man can stand above her in the name of power. she has also proven that without constituency, no matter in what form, nothing is....permanent. and the world begins soon after.


i'm not here reviewing her powerfulness. i don't read history nor to take the initiative in understanding them and i'm afraid that i might write down some incorrect informations about her, during her colonial years. but i think at some point, she has made people like me, the faithless people to start to have faith in our own selves again. to have the beliefs in life regarless of all the circumstances.

but that is not just it.

looking to what has currently happened to my own country, i must say that i'm nothing but shameful and sort of have this kind of disrespect to most of the leader. i don't think they ever deserve to call themselves as pemimpin or being the rakyat's representatives. very shameful.

there are families who are living under an open roof, without proper shelter and have left unauthorized but all that they could think of is fighting for their own shits and craps.

very disappointing.

kalau seorang wanita yang mempunyai sejarah keluarga yang tidaklah begitu membanggakan tetapi masih mampu menjadi seorang pemimpin yang sekurang-kurangnya mewujudkan revolusi dunia walaupun mendapat tentangan sesetengah golongan berjaya meninggikan martabat negaranya, apa yang akan berlaku kepada negara yang telah dijajah, dijuangkan oleh rakyatnya, mengaku mengamalkan demokrasi tetapi tidak dipimpin oleh orang yang sangat tidak berkebolehan? demokrasi apa jadah ntah!

for fuck sake, tidak ada sesiapa pun yang mahu dijajah semula.

even when i'm in the midst of being very disappointing with myself for still being unemployed which obviously is my fault for not looking for it yet, i'm uberly, extremely disappointing to see, watch and listen things that have happened in my own country.

i have not register myself in SPR yet but i know who am i going to vote next. very very disappointing. belum sampai sebulan you've been pointed as the head of this country but you've caused soo much chaos and all that you are doing, is just sit upon your asses down.

sangat memalukan.

mermaids

it just made my day. full stop.

though i couldn't find the perfect video quality, this is the closest that i can get. the audio track has been disable. damn WMG.

taken from the movie Mermaids. The Shoop Shoop Song (Its In His Kiss).

generation-X

The Star's R.AGE wants to delve deep into why the older generation don't understand the younger generation and vice versa so what they've done is "invited the “adults” to pose their one question to our youths, the Facebook-Twitter-iPod generation who has never known VHS or cassettes or Atari (and defined them as those below 29)". So now it is up to you (if you are under 29) to answer the questions posed by politicians, artistes, fashion designers, activists etc and prove to them we are not as apathetic as they think we are. And if you're over 29 and feel left out, add in your own questions! Or answer them anyway! Send in your responses to alltherage@thestar.com.my and your answers will be featured on the R.AGE website.

here are few responses given by politicians/celebrities/writers/activists/educationers.

Jit Murad, Playwright and Actor - What things about us seem unfair to you?
That you've got all your stuff figured out - who you are and what you want to continue to be.

Zainal Abidin, Singer - What is the definition of an artiste?
Those who have passion in whatever they do.

Shebby Singh, Football commentator/pundit -There are many things that can motivate us, but that is different from what our own motivation is. What is your motivation, and why?
"Always try your best" because I dont know other motivations thats more right for us/me to do. And chocolates.

Datuk Seri Tony Fernandes, CEO Air Asia - What will it take for you as the youth to think ‘Malaysian’ first and Chinese/Malay/Indian next?
What a super question. I think youth will accept that if the older generation dont even use it as scapegoat. Alhamdulillah, I don't think I'm racist. hehe.

Dr. Irene Fernandez, Tenaganita Director/Human Rights Activist - If you were elected into power, what three immediate changes would you make?
1. Have more chocolate shops 2. Make the mamas happy (then whole family happy) - let them go spa and shop 3. Role reversal of typical husband and wife at least one week in a month just for both parties to understand each other more. Nah kidding. Maybe 1. Have harsher punishment on criminals as hard as also having heavy rehabilitation for those in jails for jails not to be only temporary housing for these troubled people 2. Secure employment and have minimal wage for all especially with family to secure their ability to sustain themselves 3. Heavy focus on how teachers and parents impact the kids not only for maths and science but good-will and respecting others.

Datuk Dr Jemilah Mahmood, MERCY Malaysia President - How important is it to you to put aside time for voluntary work in the community, whether locally or globally?
I thought I was doing some of the voluntary work for them then I realised I am actually doing it for me. Selfish, I know. Cause then you are humbled by them, you figure hey I can do something as one tiny person and get to realise whoever you're helping is actually you if you're in their situation.. I don't know, sometimes I need that knock on the insides.

Datuk Seri Shahrizat Abdul Jalil, Women, Family and Community Development Minister - Are you ready for gender equality?
Just waiting for others to catch up.

Lim Guan Eng, Penang Chief Minister -If you were the Penang Chief Minister, what is the one policy action you would take to the people?
To continue promote their food. hehe. It's popular here amongst tourists.

Dr Adeeba Kamaruzzaman, Malaysian AIDS Council President -If there’s one thing you would change about school, what would it be?
Teachers and their passion in teaching and sculpting kids. Do you know how big that is? Super planet big!

Datuk Yasmin Yusuff, Artiste - Do you believe only the young can speak to the young?
Yes. The oldies can only do it if they know how to do it right.

JJ, Hitz FM Radio Announcer - We had games like Chopping, Kunda Kundi, Catching, Five Stone, Galah Panjang, Police and Thief and many more. What games bring you out of the house?
I play kejar kejar with adik adik, we sprint up the hill and run with family. We also feed fishies and bunuh ular that comes to our house cause we're scared. Fun huh :)

Zang Toi, Fashion Designer - What fresh new ideas do the young generation have to help solve global economy crisis and world peace ?
Make fair trade and don't masok campur other country's administation business unless you see genocide/massive killing/violation of human rights.

Datuk Zaid Ibrahim, Former De Facto Law Minister - Do you care who your leaders are?
I do, but I don't look it.

Khalid Samad, Shah Alam MP - What are the characteristics of good governance and what is your role in ensuring that these characteristics are truly embodied by the government of the day?
Whoa, need an essay for this one. Transparency and accountability. My role is to gawk at them I suppose.

Camelia, Singer - What do you think is a good age for a young person to leave home?
Age has nothing to do with maturity so I say that would be different for every case.

Prof Emeritus Tan Sri Lim Kok Wing, President Limkowing University of Creative Technology - Do you feel that creativity (or freedom to express oneself creatively) is sufficiently encouraged in this country?
No! It is stunted. Every one cares about being doctors, engineers, teachers, economist (not that this is all bad, of course) but our culture seems to look down on the other side automatically. Why? Here in Australia no matter what you do they don't really care as long as you love your job and you're good at it. That's why there's always innovation on ALL sectors.

Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin, Deputy Prime Minister - How would you like to see Malaysia in the future?
Independent, good, stable. Also healthy competition between government and opposing parties.

Patrick Teoh, Actor - Why are so many young Malaysians apparently so apolitical?
They love movies, music and friends more.

Yasmin Ahmad, Film director - What is the best thing about being in a multi-racial country? Surely, this is easy - FOOD !

Prof Emeritus Tan Sri Dr Khoo Kay Kim, Historian - Do you think lecturers in a university should learn to be more effective teachers?
Some of them really already are, those who's innit for the wrong reasons might not be "effective".

Hishamuddin Rais, Writer - Should the young know who is Tun Sri Lanang, A.Samad Ismail, Usman Awang, Victor Hugo, Tagore, Lu Xun or Tolstoy?
I know who A. Samad Ismail, Usman Awang and Tolstoy are. I will read up on the others. So the answer is yes.

Ujang, Cartoonist - What do you understand about the importance of loving rivers and the environment?
Pemanasan global.

Datuk Faridah Merican, Executive Producer KLPAC - What is the most important thing about being a young Malaysian?
That I am not ashamed of being one.



just to list a few. the MALAYSIANS.

he's just not that into you

i have a question. what if someone poured you with wonderful promises to stay and be with you till death do us apart, saying that he loves you extremely very much, saying that he has planned "our" future, nothing but the sweetest things in the world but never treated you the exact same way as he promised.

how can i put it in the simplest words/ sentence.

cakap tidak serupa bikin.

i don't know how to handle this. i don't know what to believe anymore. is it because i have too much time for myself i tend to think otherwise?!

i have faith in our relationship. the one that i'm currently in. the one that i've been dealing with for 4 years now. but it seems to be that its getting hard on me, on us.

i don't know how to deal with it anymore.

but i will never stop hoping. for greater things to come.

untitle

i went for a quick swim just now. the usual 9pm to 11pm routine. i thought of getting some distractions for i have been having so many things in my mind. i have been doing so much of thinking that i somehow have lost myself a long that way. drama sikit. but well, the mood wasn't being its best and i'm not blaming the menstrual circle. its just my recent status; relationship and life. there are not really in a good shape. and i have no idea how to handle them.

i miss everything. the good part of my life. i feel like i've been leaving in a cave. without any connections. disconnected.

instead of just doing the usual 8 laps, i just did 6. distractions.

i don't have a straight mind now. i don't have the punctuality. i don't feel the excitement and of course, the joy has finally exited on me.

i have to stop making excuses.

but i don't know how?!

officially freak out number one

ok, i can't handle it anymore. i don't want to hide about it anymore. i don't want to live in denial and i have been doing some thinking. a serious one. i'm officially scared of being unemployed!

there i've said it.

but i don't know where to start.

baking cupcakes is all that i'm looking forward to this weekend.

breaking boundaries

clearly, you never understand your limits. you heartlessly poured me with all those irrelevent statements. you said things that i have no ideas of doing. accusations.

but its all forgiven. open heartedly.

but when you finally, finally have the courtesy of saying that i have someone else behind your back, flirted with other people, you totally, TOTALLY crossed the line. you walk crossed the big line without even saying sorry.

its unforgivable.

its even worst when it came out from your mouth (literally) when all that i did for you for the past years was being nothing but loyal. wasn't anothing ever enough for you?!

so yeah, you crossed the line.

bullshit and its crap

well, someone told me to be creative with my life. to do creative things despite of all the things in the world. to live a creative life. to be creative in every aspect in my life. pendek kata, creative is the new oxygen. with the exact tone he spilled out the words.

" kenalah think out of the box".

well, not to my way of life, but to the way we live our relationship. you should've thought it by now kan.

but well, here's what i have to say to you dear sayang, sayang.

i don't live my life creatively. i don't lead my way of life by doing creative things. i don't think with a creative mind and i don't even talk creatively. and with all of that, for me, our relationship is not something that will lead me to the creative world. there is no creative aspect in our relationship. the way i see it, the way i feel about our relationship is just love and respect with a little bit of appreciation. no creativity.

and if you ask me to be creative about it, i guess i won't and i will never be. i'm old-fashioned, came from a conservative family and i don't live a creative-what-so-ever. i'm lame and nothing interesting about that. but that is me.

but if you what our relationship to be in the creative world, by all means, please do!

things to pounder on

ada sesetengah orang menganggap dirinya hebat dan penuh ilmu di dada kerana memiliki hobi yang hanya melibatkan dirinya membuka helaian helaian naskhah nurkilan inspirasi ciptaan penulis-penulis yang "berani" dalam mengekspressikan diri mereka.

ada sesetengah orang yang menganggap dirinya berpengetahuan luas kerana memahami setiap gerak-geri manusia lain dan mengatakan bahawa mereka sebenarnya hidup di dalam kepura-puraan. ini semua adalah hasil bekalan daripada pengetahuan luas yang dimiliki mereka.

ada sesetengah manusia yang mengatakan diri mereka super cool kerana tidak pernah mengambil kesah tentang penghidupan orang sekeliling dan hanya mempunyai kemahuan tinggi terhadap keperluan hidupnya sendiri. always keep things to themselves and oftenly said that other people are just messing with their lives. self-proclaimed.

ada sesetengah manusia mengatakan bahawa dengan mendengar nasihat-nasihat motivasi di televisyen adalah salah satu punca pergolakan minda sendiri. lebih kepada merosakkan kepala manusia yang menonton program motivasi tersebut kerana isiannya tidak cemerlang. tidak secemerlang hasil tulisan expressive independent writer. the revolutionary type of writer.

well, to those people i've listed above, it's nothing wrong with living the life that you believe in but it doesn't has to mean that other people have to be the exact same as you. its a free country, if you ever forget. we have our own rights to believe in what ever that we want to believe.

with no pressure on.

The Burden

macam tajuk novel baru keluaran penulisan terkenal Dan Brown.

tapi masalahnya, ia bukan tajuk novel terbaru hasil tulisan fiction Dan Brown tetapi lebih kepada perasaan yang sedang bermain-main dalam kepala otak aku yang sejak celiknya mata aku tengahari tadi.

yes, i woke up late today. i've been doing it since last week. i can't sleep. the only time that i'm finally able to fall asleep is when the sun has started raising. and that is why afternoon is my morning. i'm starting to worry about my future now.

i've graduated from a highly acknowledged university in the country for its best quality and i'm still lingering around looking for a job. ok, probably because i don't try hard enough. or maybe because of the recession. i don't know which one to pick to be the main reason for not working. or maybe, because i'm just being plain lazy.

but i'm starting to be worried about my future. i've started to feel uncomfortable staying at home and do nothing. well, doing house chores aren't productive enough. it doesn't help paying the bills. though i'm not responsible for the bills but somehow, i felt responsible for it. wasn't i suppose to be helping my parents out?!

i have faith in people. i believe in them so much but i tend to not to feel the same about myself. that's the problem. i don't believe in myself. well, i don't know what to believe in. i'm lacking with my strenght now. i need to recover and i need to recover fast.

lets just hope and pray. at least, i have my faith with the Almighty. He know what's best for me. ohhh damn, i feel miserable. already!

reassurance

it's getting pretty lame now. another blog?! i can't keep doing this. but i have too though. i'm writing for the sake of "GETTING BETTER" and not for other people to bugging in and starts reading. it's my own kind of therapy. not to become someone famous in the worldwideweb world.

and that,i have to admit, the he found my blog. the one that i created yesterday. and so, i have to create another account so that no one will find me. or will be reading my stuff. my boring stuff.

and to start to it, yes, my life has been nothing but suckier then ever. one drama to another and i can surely cut my fingers out if another one is starting to be played. i have enough of them that i couldn't handle another one. so please, dear breathing human being, stop with playing your stupid part in your stupid drama. i can't even handle mine, what make you think that i'll be handling yours?!

but first of all, here's a thing for you to pounder on. well, not exactly your problem though but what the heck. i'm trying to be transparent here. and but doing that, what in the world that i've been thinking by comparing myself with the boyfriend's EX? the one the he had before me. the one that he's been with before he met me. the one that has been book-closed since 2005. ok, yes, we are still bf-gf if you're still wondering. notice the "boyfriend". and i have been comparing myself with the idiot ever since, i don't know, the last 24 hours.

i know, comparing yourself with the ex before you is not a good step. well, i haven't. and i haven't in my entire relationship life have been comparing myself with the girl. the girl who has the similar face with me. ini bukan perasan tetapi kenyataan. the girl who left him for another guy. the girl that i have been personally adviced him throughout his recovering process and to the girl who has been married and live happily ever after. i'm being a total bitch. by comparing myself with her.

i can't believe it myself either. and since the comparing drama took place, i haven't taken my shower for the whole day. not even dipping my hands in the sink bowl.

i need to go to the bed now.