reassurance

it's getting pretty lame now. another blog?! i can't keep doing this. but i have too though. i'm writing for the sake of "GETTING BETTER" and not for other people to bugging in and starts reading. it's my own kind of therapy. not to become someone famous in the worldwideweb world.

and that,i have to admit, the he found my blog. the one that i created yesterday. and so, i have to create another account so that no one will find me. or will be reading my stuff. my boring stuff.

and to start to it, yes, my life has been nothing but suckier then ever. one drama to another and i can surely cut my fingers out if another one is starting to be played. i have enough of them that i couldn't handle another one. so please, dear breathing human being, stop with playing your stupid part in your stupid drama. i can't even handle mine, what make you think that i'll be handling yours?!

but first of all, here's a thing for you to pounder on. well, not exactly your problem though but what the heck. i'm trying to be transparent here. and but doing that, what in the world that i've been thinking by comparing myself with the boyfriend's EX? the one the he had before me. the one that he's been with before he met me. the one that has been book-closed since 2005. ok, yes, we are still bf-gf if you're still wondering. notice the "boyfriend". and i have been comparing myself with the idiot ever since, i don't know, the last 24 hours.

i know, comparing yourself with the ex before you is not a good step. well, i haven't. and i haven't in my entire relationship life have been comparing myself with the girl. the girl who has the similar face with me. ini bukan perasan tetapi kenyataan. the girl who left him for another guy. the girl that i have been personally adviced him throughout his recovering process and to the girl who has been married and live happily ever after. i'm being a total bitch. by comparing myself with her.

i can't believe it myself either. and since the comparing drama took place, i haven't taken my shower for the whole day. not even dipping my hands in the sink bowl.

i need to go to the bed now.