The Burden

macam tajuk novel baru keluaran penulisan terkenal Dan Brown.

tapi masalahnya, ia bukan tajuk novel terbaru hasil tulisan fiction Dan Brown tetapi lebih kepada perasaan yang sedang bermain-main dalam kepala otak aku yang sejak celiknya mata aku tengahari tadi.

yes, i woke up late today. i've been doing it since last week. i can't sleep. the only time that i'm finally able to fall asleep is when the sun has started raising. and that is why afternoon is my morning. i'm starting to worry about my future now.

i've graduated from a highly acknowledged university in the country for its best quality and i'm still lingering around looking for a job. ok, probably because i don't try hard enough. or maybe because of the recession. i don't know which one to pick to be the main reason for not working. or maybe, because i'm just being plain lazy.

but i'm starting to be worried about my future. i've started to feel uncomfortable staying at home and do nothing. well, doing house chores aren't productive enough. it doesn't help paying the bills. though i'm not responsible for the bills but somehow, i felt responsible for it. wasn't i suppose to be helping my parents out?!

i have faith in people. i believe in them so much but i tend to not to feel the same about myself. that's the problem. i don't believe in myself. well, i don't know what to believe in. i'm lacking with my strenght now. i need to recover and i need to recover fast.

lets just hope and pray. at least, i have my faith with the Almighty. He know what's best for me. ohhh damn, i feel miserable. already!