I'm kodi this way.

As much as I hate my wedding preparation, I still want to marry that guy in the picture. Kalau boleh, secepat yang mungkin *teeheeee*

Friends and family have been asking me why him, why Izwan? How do I know that he's the one, the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with? All sorts of questions. My answer usually goes "I don't know" but with a smile on my face. Frankly, I seriously don't know why I choose him.

He's the first to be called as my boyfriend. I've never had one before him. Not even during schooling years. Teman tapi mesra tuh berlambak lah but I've never got myself involved with relationship. For the record, I'm not the type of person who beliefs in love. Not till I met him five and a half years ago (six years in March). I know that sounds pretty weird. I've always had this kind of attitude who believe that woman can live independently without a man by their side and that we can live without love and boys, they suck big time. When ever there's someone trying their luck to approach me, I'll make sure with all the powers in hand to make the guy's life miserable. I just don't have the heart for relationship. Technically, I don't have anyone to compare with to ensure whether I'm picking the right one.

So why Izwan? Seriously, I don't know.

He's not the type of guy who give flowers or chocolates to their girlfriend or any of that matter. He's not a romantic type of person. He can't even remembers my birthday or any important dates relating to us inikan pula nak kasi bunga. But once he did, you'll be melting like an ice-cream on a sunny day because it is so spontaneous of him to give it out of the blue unexpectedly. And when it happens, I'm sure gonna go ohh la la for at least a week or two and the feeling is indescribable although it is just a small box of chocolate.

He's the only one who has the balls to break my heart into million of pieces and fix them back into a beautiful one. He's also the one who make me cry myself to sleep and shed the tears to make sure that everything will be fine again. He make my life like a living hell and turn them into a beautiful, beautiful garden that is filled with love and care. He can be a pain in the ass sometimes but also a super, super generous on the other. In term of understanding, well, that's so not his specialty coz I'm not too. We often have communication breakdown especially when it comes to making decisions. Sungguhlah tiada kesepakatan but we managed to overcome the situation by just being ourselves.

But most importantly, he has been the one who has successfully managed to control the psychotic part of me with patience and care. I scream and shout at him most of the time. There was a part where I constantly throw things at him whenever I'm on anger but he dealt with it patiently.

The one thing that I'm sure of to marry him is because the thing he did a year ago that makes me realize that life isn't just revolves around me, that there's also a soul that I should take into consideration, that people actually do have feelings. Well thanks to that incident, I am now marrying you my psycho partner.

And if you ask me again why I'm marrying Izwan, my answer will still be I don't know but with a smile on my face.

He's not perfect but with those imperfection is the reason why I'm still stuck with him for nearly six years now.


46 days seem like 46 years.