A Mother, Student & Senior Planner

My days have been tougher each day but having said that, I am forever thankful for the rezki, the opportunity to shine in my career (chewahhh, statement tak boleh blah!), and to challenge myself completing my Masters. Yes, I shouldn't be complaining sebab ini semua, sendiri yang cari pasal but yeah, with all of these commitments, I, at some point think that I have neglected the one person that I shouldn't be neglecting - Iman Alexandria.

Last Wednesday, she had an eye infection. Tak tahu dari mana datang, bangun tidur tengok her left eye jadi redish in color. I panicked but I seriously, I can't send her to the hospital as I just got back from a week of medical leave due to the tooth surgery and I had a long list of meetings to attend to that whole week. I asked my mother for her help to send Iman to the hospital and Alhamdulillah, she's all fine now. Ini situasi no.1.

Situasi no. 2 happened also on that same week of her eye infection. I had to leave for work early that week. Iman was still asleep when I left the house. And by the time I reached home, she was already asleep. It hits me like a thunder when that situation happened and I cried while carrying her to bed.

And I started to question myself - what type of mother I am for leaving my daughter with her nanny all day long and not being around her. I started to feel like I am a bad mother. Am I a bad mother?

Maybe I should reconsider my options. Maybe I should take that lecturer scheme so that I can spend more time my my family. Maybe I should.......

Saturday, Class & coffee

And because of the guilt I have for neglecting my daughter, I decided that I really need to balance my work, study and family life. Hence, although my weeks are occupied with work and studies, I will make sure that I spend some quality time with my lil' girl.

We went to KLCC park yesterday and girl, was she happy. Walaupun sekejap sebab weather yang main-main hujan tapi within that short time at the park dah cukup buat Iman bergolek-golek sampai seluar kotor. And I will make sure that my weekends are all spend with her, Insya Allah.

The guilty of a mother. Sigh!